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Swiss Mom: 'And That's Why I Had To Kill My Children'

A mother who was convicted of a financial crime decided to kill her own children instead of handing them over to social workers, according to the woman's own diary, which was published after she committed suicide.

The mother, identified only as Natalie K per Swiss privacy laws, rationalized the murder of her own children in chilling diary entries. Now her diary has been made into a book by Swiss crime writer Zoe Jenny, the Daily Mail reported.

The book will be titled "And That Is Why I Killed My Children," a line the Mirror says was taken directly from the diary.

Natalie, 27, and her husband were arrested earlier in 2014 in a securities fraud case. Because her parents were also arrested, authorities placed her children, five-year-old Nicolas and two-year-old Alessia, into the Swiss social services system.

Natalie and her parents were released in time for the 2014 holidays, and the court allowed her children to return home so the family could spend the holidays together, says the Mail. From Natalie's account, it was clear she thought her children were returned to her permanently, or at least that she would be able to regain permanent custody of them because she was no longer in custody.

In the diary, she recalls visiting her children at a protective home operated by the Swiss Child and Adult Protection Authority, describing it as a joyful reunion.

At the end of what Natalie calls "the most difficult two weeks of my entire life," she's allowed to pick up her children and bring them home. Nicolas and Alessia are excited, she writes, to finally return home where they can wear their own clothes and be among family again.

"Both are smiling from ear to ear. I can finally laugh again," Natalie writes. "Finally I have my two cuties back, and I will not give up on them ever again."

But the joyful holiday reunion was short-lived. After learning that the Swiss Child and Adult Protection Authority intended to return her children to protective custody, the mother penned frantic, stream-of-consciousness diary entries in which she wonders what will happen to her children, and considers other drastic measures, like obtaining fake passports to send her children out of Switzerland or finding a place for them to "hide" from Swiss authorities.

In another entry, she laments the fact that, if she fails to keep custody, Nicolas will take the big step of attending kindergarten without his parents to support him, while Alessia will spend her days without her brother or her parents.

"I do know that if I bring my children back to the home," Natalie writes, "I will break the word I gave them, as well as their hearts, and I will hardly see them."

On New Years Day, 2015, the despondent mother suffocated her own children, then walked to a wooded area near her home to kill herself. But she wasn't successful, the Mail notes, and was left seriously injured.

"I want to die [beside] my children," she writes. "Why did I do all this? Out of sheer desperation and motherly love. I wanted my children protected from this terrible future, and to spare them all that pain."

Natalie later succeeded in killing herself in prison, leading to crime writer Jenny's adaptation of her diary.

Frank Urbaniok, a Swiss expert on child welfare, blamed the mother, but also said authorities didn't handle the case the way they should have.

"Natalie K. Was clearly mentally ill," Urbaniok said, according to the Mail. "The authorities were right in taking away the children from their home. However, the grandparents were allowed to be too little involved in finding a solution. The communication from the child protection authorities was appalling, and it was not explained properly why the grandparents could not take care of the children."

Sources: Daily Mail, Mirror / Photo credit: CEN via Daily Mail

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