Rick Perry was expected to do big things in the GOP presidential race. Mostly because he's tall, strong-looking and has good hair, I believe. Plus he created a whole bunch of jobs in Texas, if you believe the various members of Perry's family who constantly repeat that assertion.
But then he started talking and things went bad. Really, really bad. As it turns out, despite the fact that a lot of right wingers secretly pine away for a candidate who possesses Perry’s strong conservative record (HPV mandates and shady ties to Merck notwithstanding), the one thing more important to them than picking a conservative candidate is picking a candidate who knows how to read.
And because of that pesky stipulation, Perry has watched his stock tumble.
Sensing that his campaign was in desperate need of holy assistance, Perry reached out for guidance from a higher power in Thursday’s Fox News GOP debate. The Texas governor evoked images of He who gave us life, watches over us, leads us to prosperity, and runs the sweetest two-minute offense you’ll ever have the pleasure of watching.
Yes, Perry played the Tim Tebow card.
And yes, it was just as awkward and uncomfortable as you imagine it would be.
Video of Perry’s last-ditch effort to embarrass himself as his campaign self-destructs below.