Tampa Bay Rays Manager Joe Maddon is the Worst Person Ever


This one has been really weighing on me for about five years now. I’ve hated the Yankees my whole life – it’s how I was raised (yes, we raise to hate in the Pomeroy family) – but I developed a hatred for the Rays all on my own. I just can’t stand anything about them.

My utter disdain for Joe Maddon, his glasses, that ridiculous lineup, Carlos Pena, Andrew Freidman, Tropicana Field, their “attitude,” “Big Game James” and really, everything about the entire organization, was brought to the forefront this weekend when they played the Red Sox. Never mind that the Rays won two out of three, because that royally pisses me off too, but what really got my blood boiling was Maddon’s comments after the semi-brawl that happened on Friday night.

First of all, if the Red Sox want to throw at Luke Scott for being an asshole, they can throw at Luke Scott. That’s the order of the world. Luke Scott does not get free reign to say whatever he wants and then just saunter up to the batter’s box and expect nothing to happen. This isn’t Russia.

Then, when something does happen, Maddon starts talking like his team is responsible and the Sox are a bunch of animals. That thick-brimmed wearing creep even tweeted this after the game:

Very proud of our effort 2nite. What occurred in the 9th reeked of intent. Was ridiculous, absurd, idiotic, incompetent, cowardly behavior.

First of all, get off Twitter you 78-year-old nut job. Nobody wants to read about your bowel movements. Second of all, stop acting like the Rays are some model franchise that has every right to stand up next to the Yankees and Red Sox. They aren’t. No matter how many division titles they win, or how many times they make the playoffs with a fraction the pay roll, they’ll still be the Rays. One five-year run of success doesn’t change the fact that the franchise was awful since its inception in the 90′s. Oh yeah – it was created in the 90′s. Quite the proud baseball tradition you’ve got over there, eh Joe?

That must be why so many people go to the games down in Tampa. What a joy it must be to play in front of six media members and 3,000 fans. At least when the Sox come to down, you come close to selling out the stadium.

It’s a joke (can you tell I hate the Rays?). People get excited over Tampa Bay because they do it with a bunch of nobodies. That doesn’t make it cool. It makes it annoying. I don’t like Sean Rodriguez, or Reid Brignac, or Elliot Johnson, or Will Rhymes, or Ben Zobrist or Chris Giminez. In fact, I can’t even tell them apart because they’re all marginal players who somehow help the Rays win games – which is infuriating.

So maybe I’m talking in circles here a little bit, but it’s just because I’m so red with anger over the fact that the Rays continue to win and stand up to the Red Sox that I find it hard to see straight. I’ve reached a point in my life where I dislike the Rays about as much as I dislike the Yankees, and I may dislike the Yankees more than I actually like the Red Sox. I don’t take this lightly.

In summation, I hate you Joe Maddon, and I hate the way you shift on every player like you’re smarter then the rest of the league. I hate you Rays.

James Shields, stop using that stupid nickname. Carlos Pena, stop hitting leadoff. Luke Scott, stop being so ugly and trying to “stand up” to the big boys. You suck.

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