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Reality Bites: The Indianapolis Colts are Very Bad

There's a huge, gaping hole in the roof of my house.

I mean huge.

It's like 6' by 10' wide. Practically speaking, the roof is missing.

Yes, we've duct taped a garbage bag to it, but come on. THERE'S STILL A HOLE IN THE ROOF.

So yesterday, my wife says to me, "Nate, the carpet in here is awful. And the there isn't any thing on most of the walls. It's all white. Plus, this house is freezing! We need new insulation. And there are water stains all over everything! This just won't do."

I tried to point out to her that we didn't have the money for new paint and carpet. We had spent a crapload adding a new roof, and when that tree branch fell on the house it really set us back. I pointed out that pretty soon the roof will be fixed. The insurance promised either to repair the roof we had just spent so much on, or if necessary, they'll rip off the roof entirely and replace it. That will take care of the most of the problems with the cold and the water damage can be repaired...but not until we actually fix the roof.

She was pissed at me.

"Nate, how come you are still talking about the roof! Sure, there's a massive gaping hole in it, and that garbage bag wasn't even heavy duty, but you cannot deny that it's cold in here and we need new insulation!  You cannot possibly expect me to believe that all this water damage is caused by the huge gaping hole in the roof! Fixated much?"

I love my wife, and tried to calmly explain that statistically speaking, huge gaping holes in the roof of your house lead to elevated levels of heat loss and water entrance.

She scoffed.

"You are in denial!" she said. "This house is freezing and that means we clearly picked the wrong insulation! Insulation keeps a house warm and if the house is cold, the insulation is bad!".

The conversation was starting to get on my nerves. I showed her charts indicating that we had chosen a high quality insulation, but after all, it IS cold in the house, and insulation does keep the house warm.

She continued, growing increasingly angry, "The roof issue aside, and I admit there is a giant hole, you haven't begun to address how we have no pictures on the wall! That's the real problem with this house! A lack of pictures!"

She's not entirely wrong, of course. We had some pictures, but they blew off (you know, because of the giant hole in the roof), got wet, and now we'll have to replace them. It's no big deal really. We've taken scores of great pictures over the years, and pictures are reasonably replaceable in a digital world. Again, I tried to calm her down. The roof will be fixed soon. There will be some clean up, but it won't be that bad. These things happen to everyone eventually and there's no reason to tear down the whole house (not that we could afford it), just to get some new carpet and photos. Once we fix the roof, the rest of the house will seem much nicer and warmer. Yes, I am miserable, MISERABLE about the giant hole, but it is what it is. Things happen. We just had that tree trimmed the year before, and again a few months before the storm. There was every reason to believe it was going to be strong and healthy for years to come...right up until it crashed into our living room. I don't like it any more than anyone else, but at least I was smart enough to realize that life with a hole in the roof was going to suck until it got fixed.

"Roof, roof, roof! She said. "To hear you talk you'd think that all we need is a new roof! That trash bag is perfectly acceptable replacement roof. Don't blame the trash bag that it's cold in here! That's a quality replacement level roof, right there. I'm bored to death of hearing about the roof!"

There was no point. She was unwilling to accept that the trash bag, was in fact, the worst roof in the neighborhood. It was actually worse than our neighbor who tacked a ratty tarp to the roof. When it comes to a roof, it gets no worse than a thin trash bag. And no, swapping out a bunch of glued together grocery bags isn't going to be an improvement.

"Well if the roof is the problem, why didn't we spend money on a second, back-up roof!"

I tried to explain that we live on a budget. A second roof beneath the first roof might have kept us a little warmer right now, maybe, but that tree was huge and there was no keeping it from causing damage. If we had spent money on a second roof (an idea that frankly makes no sense), then we could not have afforded any insulation for the house. We'd have been a little warmer now, but a lot colder in the previous years.

There was nothing left to say. We just don't see the problem in the same way. After a few hours of debate, she threw her hands up in disgust. She futilely waved at the pails of water we had set up to collect the rain that came in around the edges of our garbage bag stop gap roof.

"Go carry those water buckets outside and empty them. They are getting full!"

Game notes:

  • I will regret not sticking to my guns on Painter for the rest of my life. He's...he's...he's just so bad. I mean so so so bad.
  • Who is propagating this notion that Painter is really 'a rookie'? This is his third year in the league, people. He's had three camps, three preseasons. If he he doesn't know the offense, that's his fault. If Painter counts as a rookie, then why in the name of heaven would ANYONE want to sit Andrew Luck for two or three years? If sitting doesn't actually make you ready to play, then no prospect should sit.
  • I was amazed after the game to hear people complaining about the line. This might be one of those differences between seeing it live and watching it on TV. Live, the line didn't seem to be playing great, but it was pretty clear Painter had people open and wouldn't throw the ball. When he did throw the ball, it was rarely in the right spot.
  • Pierre Garcon is playing really well right now. He's getting open a lot. Just know that.
  • Our QB problem will be solved at the end of this season, one way or another. Jacksonville's will continue for a long, long time. Blaine Gabbert is almost as bad as Painter.
  • Obviously, Orlovsky can't technically do any worse than Painter, but don't expect any better. He's a really bad QB as well. And PLEASE don't quote me his stats yesterday. The Jags played soft up two scores, and let him toss balls over the middle to Tamme on the final drive.
  • If I never see another 3 yard pass to a well covered man on 1st and 10 again, it'll be too soon.
  • The punt by Caldwell is why I want him gone. I've said it before: it's not the losses. No coach can win with Painter. It's the WAY he's generating the losses. So he had third and one. Take Brown out. Put in your big bruiser and run twice. That's what Carter is there for. But noooo, we can't use Carter and Brown on the same drive! That's not our system! Let's punt instead.  Unfortunately, it's hard to fire a guy after the team mostly played hard and lost because one guy sucks so very badly.
  • I'm amazed that the same people who insist that Bill Polian is a liar who plays games with the media are the same people that get bent out of shape at everything he says. If he's a liar, then stop paying attention to him. He's probably not telling the truth. He's been shielding Painter from criticism, not wanting to scapegoat him for all the problems. That's the right thing to do. Granted, he's the biggest problem, but he was never meant to be a solution either. It serves no purpose to rip the coach and rip the players. None.
  • The Andrew Luck issue isn't that complicated. Unless Peyton is healthy, and I don't believe he will be, the odds are very very good Luck is the next quarterback. The end of the Peyton era was always going to bring a two season rebuild project. This is season one. Next year will be season two. There's no way around it. The Dolphins and Bills tried to rebuild on the fly after their HoF QBs moved on. They managed to squeeze a couple of playoff seasons out of their rosters, but never solved the QB problem. You never sneeze on making the playoffs, but they've been searching ever since.
  • I bang my head against the wall every time I watch Don Brown run. If Peyton was playing and he wasn't facing a stacked box, he'd be killer this year.
  • Some really good, some really bad from Kevin Thomas. There are lots of Colts that I'd like to see play in a more sane defensive system. He's one of them.

The crowds at the Luke have been very upbeat and positive. Amazing actually. The 'angry mob' seems to be mostly relegated to twitter and the internet. The people at the game know what's going on. Gives me a lot of hope for the future, actually. Pretty sophisticated fans.

Most everyone there misses Peyton and knows that the Colts have a huge gaping hole in the roof.


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