A few years back, I lived in Birmingham and would listen to Paul Finebaum's radio show most every day driving home from work. Since moving away, I have only listened sporadically, so I always forget what it's like to listen to Finebaum's ability to bring out the real crazy in the show's callers.
In fact, one of the last times I listened, I believe Charles from Reeltown challenged another caller to meet him at Finebaum's studio so he could "whip his ass." If you're unfamiliar with that caller, you should know that Charles from Reeltown is at least 250 years old and challenges people to fights over the phone.
So, when Alabama lost on Saturday, there was no other choice than to listen Monday for what was sure to be one of the great days in the history of the show, and be delightfully refreshed by Finebaum's troll powers. Sadly, I missed the beginning, but put in a solid hour and a half and heard the following:
1. A man named Terry called in while Finebaum had Tim Brando on the line to take questions, but his call was cut off.
2. Terry called back a little while later and was asked about his call getting cut off. Terry launched into a story about his blind cat getting out of the house, and a dog barking at the cat and looking like it was gonna do something to the cat, all of which caused Terry to either drop the phone or hang up while he saved his blind cat, who is 16 years old.
3. I am not making this up.
4. Amazingly, Terry's call was cut off again.
5. Billy or Bobby or whatever called to talk to Tim Brando and started the conversation with "Timmy B. Corn Dog, what's up?"
6. This call ended with Billy/Bobby and Brando both shouting in the phone at the same time, making everything impossible to understand for 10-15 seconds.
7. Another man (forgot his name) called in and began with "God is judging us for the election of Barack Obama." He also mentioned "socialist" and some other forward email facts before saying "it's okay, my daughter dates a black man."
8. Tammy, a legend and an especially excitable and unstable Auburn fan, called from what sounded like the bottom of a well to discuss her anger at Auburn fans leaving the games early.
9. Surprisingly, she got more and more hysterical as the call went on, both predicting an Auburn win over Alabama, then saying it wouldn't happen, and finally saying Auburn will win another national championship.
10. Terry, the blind cat owner, called in for a third time in 90 minutes to finally ask his question, which wasn't so much a question as it was him telling a story about an Alabama game from the 1970s and Bear Bryant.
OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU, 57-RING CIRCUS.