By Jayson Braddock
This is a weekly free therapy session I provide for not only myself, but for all football fans. If you’re looking for politically correct, mainstream, polite, NFL content, you’ve come to the wrong place. In fact, on any given week you should be prepared to either agree with me or be offended, belittled, shocked, and insulted. You can expect to find anger, sarcasm, foul language (I will do my best to refrain), and whatever the hell else I’m feeling come 1 am CST Tuesday mornings this NFL season. So, lie down on your couch and grab your tissue because your Week 3 session has begun…….
I’m sure by now that we’ve all seen the replay of the craziest trick play in NFL history. If you haven’t, it’s because the officials made sure to make the play irrelevant for no apparent reason. Here it is if you want a refresher on the play. Watch closely if you want to see the weak ass holding call. When the camera angle changes in between one and two seconds into the video, you’ll see #21, Corey Graham tug at the jersey of a Packers player. Maybe the most picky holding call ever, and it couldn’t of came at a worse time.
The Green Bay Packers were up 27-17 with a little over 50 seconds to go. All the Chicago Bears could hope for was a punt return for a touchdown and an onside kick to try and get into field goal range. What happened next could never happen again. Too many things would have to go right. It was a fluke, it was insane, it was perfection, until…the dumb ass ref threw a dumb ass flag for a holding penalty that nobody gave a damn about with 50 seconds left in the game.
Watch as the punter shanks the ball clearly to the left on a play that was setup for protection to the right. Next you see Devin Hester giving the performance of a lifetime to draw all of the Packers defenders in. Then, probably the most underrated aspect of the whole play, Johnny Knox, who is running with his back to the ball, is streaming down the left sideline and tracks the ball perfectly and brings in the ball a la Willie Mays over the shoulder style. Without missing a beat he turns and blazes straight down the sideline. This was undoubtedly the greatest play that will happen all season, but thanks to the happy ass flag thrower, it’ll go down as nothing more than a holding penalty and you’ll never see the highlight after this season again.
Did you think I was done? Come on now, how the hell could I be this emotional over this play and let Joe Buck get away without a scratch. I want you to go back and watch this play one more time now, but this time, listen how Mr. Personality announces this play. Where’s Gus Johnson when you need him? Buck sounds as if he’s announcing a funeral brigade instead of the most exciting play of the year. Who gives a damn if it was called back for holding? He didn’t know what the flag was on. We may have seen one of the greatest plays and the voice over to commemorate it would be “it was an interesting play” and “how about that”. I probably typed it more excitingly than he sounded. I can’t vent enough to make myself feel better about how bad an announcer Joe Buck is, so I’ll let Artie Lange take care of him in this old clip. (PG-18 only please….We’ll go on the honor system here kids.)