NASCAR Driver A.J. Allmendinger Tests Positive for Adderall

Publish date:

Somebody in NASCAR named AJ Allmendinger tested positive for Adderall recently, and was suspended from racing and dropped from his team. He says that he thought the pill was just some workout supplement that his friend gave him, but I’m getting the feeling that AJ was enjoying a little bit of the “diet coke” for years now.

As someone who has grown up in the Adderall era, I’m pretty familiar with the tell tale signs of someone who is using Adderall in social situations. I encounter it every weekend when I go out to bars or wherever-  there’s a number of people all fired up on Adderall ready to seize the day.

Well I found this video of our friend Allmendinger speaking to…nobody, really, and yup – he’s on Adderall.

He’s jumping around from subject to subject in a complete stream of consciousness manner, covering everything from how comfortable he feels in his suit in Las Vegas to how much better he feels about his team in general. The common bond is that he feels REALLY, REALLY GOOD about everything. He’s just beaming from ear to ear and speaking at a pace that’s a little difficult to follow. The guy is speeding.

Guess what, AJ? Your secret is out, pal. You didn’t take Adderall once because you were tired and thought it was a supplement. For all I know, you’ve been freebasing the stuff for years a replacement for a coke addiction. But trust me when I say that I know what a man on Adderall looks like, and AJ – you look like a man on Adderall.

There’s a video out there somewhere of Allmendinger grinding his teeth and breaking down life for a bunch of scared-looking Asian girls he’s cornered at a bar in the middle of Oklahoma. I’m telling you. In fact, I’m sure everyone in NASCAR takes Adderall. Improved focus, sharper vision, more energy, no urge to eat while you’re sweating out all your nutrients. It’s a NASCAR driver’s dream.

And no, I don’t have an Adderall problem. I’m just in my 20′s, and Adderall is EVERYWHERE.

Related Content

Badminton Tanking Makes Perfect Sense

Get Your Outfielders Here!

The Tunisian Basketball Coach Is A Bad Man

Sorry That You’re “Stuck” With Beckett

I Would Be The Best Player On The Colombian Women’s Soccer Team

Peyton Manning Has The Tools To Make Denver Just Like Indy


Popular Video