LSU 20, Arkansas 13
While the last breath of the John L. Smith era at Arkansas produced an ending filled with INTRIGUE, it was a mostly uneventful game highlighted by LSU returning to form, meaning they were outgained, mostly miserable on offense, and got a pair of turnovers, one of which, of course, came on their own 2 on a first and goal for Arkansas.
It must be pretty awesome to be an LSU fan. Because you have such a good defense, your offense can spend 90% of its time on the field doing, for my money, the best impression of a steaming pile of donkey crap, yet there's no need to be alarmed because just enough plays will eventually be made and breaks will go your way at the most perfect time to collect another 10, 11, or 12-win season.
NO I'M NOT BITTER BE QUIET.
Georgia 42, Georgia Tech 13
Turns out that, when ready to destroy a weaker opponent, Georgia can keep said weaker opponent from hanging around. While I'm sure that's much more enjoyable for Georgia fans, it's not for the rest of us. BOOOOO, Mark Richt, BOOOOOOO.
Tennessee 37, Kentucky 13
If Tyler Bray got to play the majority of his games against teams who struggle to be average or bad, he'd throw for something like 45 touchdowns a year. Against NC State, Georgia State, Akron, Troy, Missouri, and Kentucky, he threw for 23 TDs and had just 1 INT. Against the rest of the schedule, he put up 11 TDs and 11 INTs.
In other words, if he had just gone to Mississippi State, he would have obliterated all the records.
Florida 37, Florida State 26
Recycling a Twitter joke I used (go green, y'all!), congratulations to Florida for their tough win over the 2013 preseason #3 Florida State Seminoles. And double that congratulations for making this game entertaining, which science previously told us was impossible as long as the Florida offense takes the field.
Vanderbilt 55, Wake Forest 21
Never thought I would use the words "buzzsaw" and "Vanderbilt" together, but here we are. BUZZSAW! VANDERBILT! They finish the season with six straight wins, though the best team they played in that stretch was Ole Miss.
But, the Commodores end up with FIVE SEC WINS, with their only losses coming to top 10 teams Georgia, Florida, and South Carolina, and only being blown out by Georgia. But in maintaining true Vanderbilt form, they did lose to Northwestern earlier in the year. However, this did happen, which was awesome:
Alabama 49, Auburn 0
As usual, I have no confirmation, but I'm not sure Trooper Taylor's towel ever left its position tucked into his pants. And that's tough to swallow because now that Gene Chizik and friends are in the process of being paid not to coach football at Auburn, we may be deprived of Trooper on SEC sidelines for the foreseeable future.
It's possible he could land on a staff desperate for some help in recruiting, but Trooper is currently covered in NCAA investigation stink surrounding his activities in the Memphis area. Unless that's settled quickly, Trooper may be sitting out a year or heading outside the conference. (VERY SAD TROMBONE)
As for Chizik, he'll be fine because MILLIONS OF DOLLARS and will spend the next few months getting used to not looking like a dentist on Saturdays.
Ole Miss 41, Mississippi State 24
BOWL ELIGIBLE, PEOPLE. BOWL ELIGIBLE. NASHVILLE/BIRMINGHAM/MEMPHIS, I AM COMING TO SPEND MONEY IN YOUR CITY WITH NO REGARD TO FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY.
After a first half in which Ole Miss tried to kill me, good things CAN happen when a team stops doing dumb things over and over again. Bo Wallace stopped throwing interceptions and fumbling, special teams stopped giving up kick returns for touchdowns, and our punter stopped, no, never mind. His terribleness was equally distributed throughout the game.
However, the first four times Ole Miss touched the ball in the second half, we scored, and on the fifth possession, we missed a field goal. Many moons have passed since an Ole Miss offense did something like that to a conference opponent.
Obviously, Donte Moncrief doing whatever he pleased was highly entertaining to watch, but what really surprised me during the avalanche of points and good times was our ability to run with relative ease. On those four scoring drives, Ole Miss ran the ball 23 times and threw only 4 passes, three of which were for touchdowns. A few weeks ago, I would have declared IMPOSSIBLE to such numbers, but the offensive line got its business in order and started blocking things in front of them.
And while we're handing out praises, the Ole Miss defense was fantastic. The offense, per the usual, put them in horrible spots in the first half, yet they gave up zero points on all of those disasters. And in the second half, watching them rush only three or four and still get to Tyler Russell was VERY MUCH enjoyed. But most enjoyed was that Tyrone Nix was not there to give State 400+ yards of offense and 30+ points.
As for State, now begins an interesting time in Dan Mullen's State career. He's put heavy emphasis on the Ole Miss game, which is great if he's winning that game, but could be his undoing if he drops two or three straight to Ole Miss, which would be a delicious plate of irony.
Let's see if he slightly taps the breaks on the Ole Miss emphasis, as well as general fan expectation so he avoids as much heat the next time he rips through the Sun Belt then falters in the last fourth of the season.
South Carolina 27, Clemson 17
I've said something similar to this before, but I wouldn't trust Dabo Swinney to run the Country Bear Jamboree and Bake Sale.
Texas A&M 59, Missouri 29
Had Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o made one tackle against USC, but that one tackle was at the one-yard line to preserve a Notre Dame win in double-overtime, you could have handed him the Heisman Trophy right there on the field. I continue to be amazed that, for an award where stats are constantly vomited out, his are being ignored.
Georgia's Jarvis Jones, despite missing two game, ranks in the top five in three defensive categories, while Te'o is in the top five in just one category (oddly enough, it is interceptions). Don't think there's been a single mention of Jones and the Heisman, and, like Te's mentions, NOR SHOULD THERE BE.
Ugh. Whatever. Give it to Te'o so there can be a huge Internet fight, which, other than two drunks swinging away before falling down, is the best kind of fight.
Double Your Paycheck Picks
Week: 6-3 (.667)
Season: 52-44-1 (.536)
Well, look at that. Had you chosen to ride with those picks throughout the year, you'd be MARGINALLY wealthier than you were before September started. Gray Hardison, man of the people for the people and their people.
2012 Jevan Snead Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Quarterbacking Failure Leaderboard
Awarded to the SEC quarterback who throws the most interceptions during the regular season
1. Bo Wallace 15
2. Tyler Wilson 13
3. Tyler Bray 12
4. Kiehl Frazier 8
4. Johnny Manziel 8
6. Aaron Murray 7
6. James Franklin 7
6. Connor Shaw 7
6. Corbin Berkstresser 7
10. Zach Mettenberger 6
10. Tyler Russell 6
12. Jordan Rodgers 5
13. Maxwell Smith 4
13. Jonathan Wallace 4
15. Brandon Allen 3
15. Morgan Newton 3
15. Clint Moseley 3
15. Jeff Driskel 3
19. Jalen Whitlow 2
19. AJ McCarron 2
19. Dylan Thompson 2
22. Justin Worley 1
22. Patrick Towles 1
Congratulations to Bo Wallce for claiming this year's award, making him the third Ole Miss quarterback to win the award in four years and slowly chipping away at the stable part of my brain. The team award, if it existed, goes to Arkansas with 16 interceptions, and Auburn tied Wallace, as three quarterbacks combined to throw 15 picks.
One of the most impressive feats was the work of Kiehl Frazier, who got all of his interceptions in during the first five weeks before being benched, yet still finished in the top five. What an effort.
Already looking forward to next year when heavy favorites Bo Wallace and Tyler Bray are challenged by whoever Auburn and Kentucky annoint to lead them to four-win seasons.