Boston Red Sox Drama: Bobby Valentine's "Threat" is a Non-Story

Bobby Valentine admitted during a Wednesday afternoon interview with radio station WEEI radio host Glenn Ordway that the 2012 Red Sox season has been miserable. He also made it that much more miserable for himself by threatening he would punch Ordway in the mouth. Saying he “threatened” Ordway is as much of a stretch as the article saying Valentine was “late” to the ballpark in Oakland last week, the issue that started the latest debacle.

Valentine got to the stadium at 4:00PM for a 7:00PM start, because he was picking up his son from the airport in San Francisco and if you’re wondering why his son didn’t just fly in to Oakland, you’ve obviously never been to that dump. So Bobby wasn’t even late for the game and really it was a complete nonstory, but the Red Sox have completely imploded into a tabloid, he-said-she-said, disaster in 2012 and the media vultures are circling. Ordway, ever the shit-stirrer, brought the story up as proof Valentine had quit on the season, Valentine didn’t like it, and the rest is overblown history.

The real story here is the stubborn, asinine, refusal of the Red Sox to end Valentine’s misery and send him off to pasture or Japan. As silly as this latest story is, it’s just another illustration that Bobby V. is clearly not the right manager for this Red Sox team and especially this Red Sox media market. He barely got through Spring Training before putting his foot in his mouth about Kevin Youkilis’ dedication, an offhand remark that became front page, bold-type, news in Boston. Now, after 5 months of sub-.500 baseball, he still can’t resist feeding the media monster.

All while the Red Sox ownership and GM Ben Cherington, hover around the team on its 1-8 west coast swing, purportedly fact-finding. Here’s a fact, the Red Sox went from World Series hopefuls to basement dwelling, dynamited roster, rebuilding job in less than a full season. Here’s another fact, after two World Series in 3 years, the Organization more closely resembles the mid-90’s disaster era teams than it does anything that came after this Ownership group took over. Pull the band-aid off already. Finish nuking this putrid team. Get rid of Valentine while the team is at rock bottom, so there is at least a chance at a fresh 2013. What’s the worst case scenario, it comes out that Valentine actually punches at least one clubhouse attendant in the mouth every day? At least then we’d have a real story to talk about.

Whew, it felt good to punch that dead horse in the mouth. Now let’s find out who Bobby V. would have punched around the league on Wednesday.

Valentine definitely would have punched Gio Gonzalez in the mouth, for throwing 7 innings of shutout baseball in the Nationals’ 9-1 win over the Cubs and showing what a real pitching staff looks like. Gonzalez had 9 K’s and didn’t give up a hit till the 6th. Bryce Harper hit two homers in the win, making him the third teenager ever to have two multi-homer games and his 17 homers on the season is good for third most all time for a teenager.

POW, right in the kisser, for Mike Minor for blowing his no-hitter in the 7th, allowing a leadoff single to Jordan Pacheco. Either make it interesting or GTFO, Valentine always says. Minor did pick up the 1-0 win, over the Rockies, for his 7 IP, 7 K, 1 hit, 4 BB; effort.

Valentine has a mean one-two combo for the Rays and the Blue Jays, the left hook to the Rays for losing to the Yankees and failing to push them further into a death spiral that would at least, somewhat appease the Red Sox masses and a right cross for the Blue Jays, for beating the Orioles and thus pushing Boston one game closer to last in the AL East. The Yankees 6-4 win over the Rays managed to hold both Tampa Bay and Baltimore at bay for at least one more day. The winning runs were scored on an error from Rays’ second baseman Elliot Johnson, so Bobby would probably punch him too.

Bobby has an affectionate jab on the shoulder for Carlos Quentin and the Padres, for beating the Dodgers 4-3 and doing their best to keep his exiled former players out of the playoffs.  Quentin’s  7th inning sac-fly provided the winning run in the game. 

Written by Ryan Coombs exclusively for TheFantasyFix.com. Follow Ryan on Twitter @RMCoombs

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