Adrian Beltre had already hit three home runs by the end of the fourth inning in Texas on Wednesday night. He failed to hit his fourth in both of his last two at bats, thus failing to become the 18th player in MLB history to hit four in the same game and having to settle for being the fifth player to have a three homer game in both the regular and postseason. Sadly, none of the three were hit on bended knee, the best version of an Adrian Beltre homer. Did you know Beltre often tries to hit those as a tribute to Boyz II Men? Learn something new everyday.
Beltre's outburst came at the expense of Baltimore's Tommy Hunter, he who was prophesied to become King of the GopherBall. Poor Tommy Hunter, dude was just trying to get shellacked in peace and instead he has a guy get all historical on him and all of a sudden ESPN is cutting into the game and everyone has to see his shame. In his defense, only two of Beltre's homers came off him. Not in his defense, that was only because he was pulled after allowing a Mitch Moreland grand slam and eight earned. Furthermore, not in his defense, Hunter now leads the league in home runs allowed, in just 121 innings pitched. Might be time to Hunter for a new job, amirite?
Bartolo Colon got busted with a 50 game suspension for PEDs. Was he the only one fooled by Melky's website? If steroids give you a body like that, why are they even illegal? Bartolo is fat. Sorry, that's the problem with writing a daily recap that runs the day after in the Twitter age, all the good and not good jokes are long since claimed. I did have a nice, long, chuckle at @RealLifeKaz and his “Tested positive for tostones” tweet. It's funny because he's so fat.
Chris Sale beat the Yankees, 2-1, striking out 13 in 7.2 IP with just the one earned run. That's 153 innings pitched on the season, for Chicago's exciting young stud and yet nary a peep about shutting him down. Mike Rizzo pissed his pants when he heard. Mike Rizzo once lost a penny to a slot machine in Vegas, but it was one he'd taken from the 7-11 take a penny, leave a penny tray, so it didn't count. Speaking of horrible transitions, I wish Chris Sale was a closer so he could come out to AWOLNation's “Sail”, because that song gets me pumped and tof course he obvious name fit. Maybe when he bats next year during interleague play.
Albert Pujols left the Angels' 7-3 win over the Red Sox in the fourth inning, with tightness in his right calf. He'll have a precautionary MRI on Thursday. A DL trip would be disastorous for both the Angels already shrinking wildcard hopes and fantasy teams with Pujols and the playoffs on the horizon. The Angels lit up Clay Buchholz, with 7 runs in his 5.1 IP. Buccholz had been a lone brightspot on the Red Sox dismal 2012, but apparently no one is safe from the giant suckhole of ineptitude surrounding Boston this season.
The Rays continued their charge towards the Wildcard, with a 5-3 win over the Royals. James Shields struck out 7 and allowed 3 earned over 7.2 IP. The Rays have been on an offensive tear since King Felix shut them down with his perfect game last week. The streak also coincides with the return of Evan Longoria, whose going to have to prove he isn't made of glass next season if he's going to work his way back into the upper tier of fantasy hitters.
Ryan Braun was 3 for 4 and hit his 34th homer on the season in Milwaukee's win over the Cubs. Coco Crisp filled up the stat sheet with a 3 for 3, 1 HR, 2 RBI, 3 R, 1 BB, 1 SB effort in Oakland's win over Minnesota. San Francisco's Joaquin Arias was also 3 for 4 with a homer and 5 RBIs, helping the Giants to stave off a Dodgers rally and win 8-4. It's a good thing Arias went nuts too, because the Diamondbacks aren't going away, winning 3-0 over the Marlins, thanks to Wade Miley's 8 IP, 5 K, 0 ER, 4 hit effort.
Written by Ryan Coombs exclusively for TheFantasyFix.com. Follow Ryan on Twitter @RMCoombs.
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