TEXAS PETE POWER POLL HEAT INDEX CHILI PEPPERS
Ranking those who carried on while others around them were crushed by failure and/or incompetence.
1. Johnny Manziel
He's reached the status where moms, who don't follow football or sports closely, know who he is:
“Is ‘Football’ really his last name?” - my mom at dinner last night
— Ben Swain (@thedevilwolf) November 13, 2012
2. Kevin Sumlin
If someone can determine the percentage upgrade from Mike Sherman to Sumlin, they should win the Nobel Prize for mathematics. Not because the formula is overly complex and innovative, but because numbers don't usually go that high.
3. Texas A&M Defense
Considered the weak link of their team, they bent and bent and bent, but never collapsed under the weight of Alabama's offense, and even came up with three turnovers.
4. Mark Richt
Fresh off a public admission of swing set activities that led to a painful hip injury, Richt has his team back in Atlanta thanks to not mashing the panic button and not playing Alabama or LSU.
5. James Franklin (Todd Grantham nemesis version)
The Commodores are bowl eligible and have a shot at finishing 5-3 in conference play for the first time since players were taken away to go liberate Europe.
6. Zach Mettenberger
All of a sudden he's looking like, and this gives you an indication of how bad it's been at this position for LSU, JaMarcus Russell lighting up the Notre Dame secondary in the Sugar Bowl.
7. James Franklin (quarterback version)
Following a disaster at Florida (4 INTs), he throws 4 TDs in an overtime win over Tennessee, giving the Tigers a stranglehold on 5th place in the East. I know the Tennessee defense is the Italian army of defenses, but you still have to show up and shoot.
8. Non-JP games
Ole Miss managed to slip through the season with only two JP games, which has to be a school record, and means we'll get at least five next season. But what a GLORIOUS RUN it was this year.
9. Paul Finebaum Show
I listened for the first time in a long time yesterday and it did not disappoint. Blind cats, God's judgment, and corn dog name-calling. I'll have more later, but that man is a genius. Give him the Nobel Prize for genius.
10. Will Muschamp's Life Expectancy
Had he lost to Louisiana-Lafayette, this week would have ground a solid three to five years away.
JEFFERSON PILOT POWER POLL OF FAILURE
Ranking those who collapsed under the weight of their incompetence and/or lack of skill
1. Nick Saban
"PAAAAWWWWLLLL, I KNEW IT WAS COMIN'. YOU DON'T TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE GAS FOR NOBODY AND THAT'S WHAT THIS TEAM HAS DONE ALL YEAR. WE STILL NEED TO KEEP SABAN, BUT YOU GOTTA WATCH HIM NOW. NOT SURE I CAN TRUST HIM FULLY NO MORE."
2. Derek Dooley
Dooley said yesterday athletic director Dave Hart told him that no decision has been made on whether Dooley will be back next year. That means Tennessee is either still crunching all the financial numbers or his job status actually depends on him beating Vanderbilt and Kentucky, either of which delights me to no end.
3. Gene Chizik
If Chizik isn't coaching at Auburn next year (PULL YOUR "I'LL TALK IF FIRED" CARD, GENE), he needs to be in coaching somewhere. As an assistant, he'll give us more unfiltered Chizik, of which we could all use more.
4. Hugh Freeze*
In what was probably Ole Miss' best chance to gain bowl eligibility, and possibly win himself SEC Coach of the Year, Freeze's team blew a 23-6 third quarter lead after not finding a way to fully close door on Vanderbilt.
5. Ole Miss Running Game
55 yards on 40 carries. 1.4 yards per rush is a great way to assist being outscored 21-3 in the final 25 minutes.
6. AJ McCarron
Aside from a pair of 54-yard passes, one of which was for a touchdown, he looked like he was still trapped in the second half of the LSU game (minus the last drive). "PAAAAWWWLLLL, SOUND LIKE SOME CAJUN VOODOO TRICKS."
7. Dan Mullen
Three straight losses and a defense that is fading like a November David Cutcliffe defense, who, by the way, since beating North Carolina in mid-October, has been outscored 104-27. NEVER CHANGE, DC.
8. Chris Wilson
Though not near the ranks of Sal Sunseri, Wilson is steadily moving up the charts in terms of being on Mississippi State fans' radar, and not in a good way. In State's last three games, his defense has given up 1,499 yards (499.7/game) and let each opponent's offense score at least 30 points.
9. SEC Scheduling
Have you seen this week's games? It's a toss-up between Arkansas/Mississippi State and Tennessee/Vanderbilt for most competitive.
10. SEC Game Time Scheduling
How is that in the year 2012, the early games still bleed into the 2:30 CBS game, which is allegedly the feature game of the week? No one wants to suffer through a JP game for that long, but if cutting commercial breaks there isn't an option, why not move the CBS game to a hard 3 o'clock start? This has gone on too long without enough yelling about it. BEND TO MY MAXIMUM CONVENIENCE REQUIREMENTS, SEC ADMINISTRATION.
*As always, with an assist to Houston Nutt