During the Republican debate on March 3, current front-runner Donald Trump could not adequately explain his tax plan but made sure to let America know that there is nothing wrong with his penis. In case you were worrying (video below).
During the Fox News-moderated GOP debate in Michigan, Trump defended his manhood in what may be the first time in U.S. history that a presidential candidate assured the nation that everything is going fine down there -- don’t you worry about it.
In the days leading up to Super Tuesday on March 1, the GOP rivalry between Trump and Republican Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida had turned into a back-and-forth of name-calling and schoolyard taunts.
On Feb. 29, the eve of Super Tuesday, the senator mocked the business mogul for his hands, remarking that they were small and dainty for such a tall man, according to NBC News.
“And you know what they say about guys with small hands?” Rubio asked his supporters at a Salem, Virginia rally. “You can’t trust ‘em!”
Rubio has since backed away from taking such a personal line of attack against Trump, but Trump wanted to correct the record during the latest GOP debate, Salon reports.
“He hit my hands -- nobody’s ever hit my hands, I’ve never heard about this,” Trump said early on, drawing chuckles from the crowd.
“He referred to my hands and said, ‘If they’re small, something else must be small,’ and I guarantee there’s no problem,” Trump declared. “I guarantee.”
Trump later called Rubio “Little Marco,” clearly attempting to emasculate the 44-year-old senator. And Trump wants you to know, just in case you were worried, that there is nothing “little” about himself.
Trump actually has a history of taking comments about the size of his hands seriously. In 1988, Spy magazine ran a piece deriding Trump as a “short-fingered vulgarian,” Vox news reports.
In 2015, the magazine’s founder Graydon Carter recounted that Trump never forgot or forgave the insult:
"To this day, I receive the occasional envelope from Trump. There is always a photo of him -- generally a tear sheet from a magazine. On all of them he has circled his hand in gold Sharpie in a valiant effort to highlight the length of his fingers. I almost feel sorry for the poor fellow because, to me, the fingers still look abnormally stubby."
This is further evidence that Trump is committed to correcting the record for the American public. So voters can rest easy knowing that there is indeed no problem with any part of him.
It’s fine, don’t worry about it.