Tale Of 'Pregnant' Lizard Will Have You In Stitches


If you have kids and pets, one thing is for sure: Your home can get hectic.

If you've ever had some outrageous mishaps with your kids and pets, you'll be cracking up at this hysterical story about two parents who thought their son's pet lizard was pregnant and learned the hard way that it is important to remember what you learned in biology class, notes Shareably.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," the dad says he told his family at the time. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" yelled the kids.

It all started when the couple's son noticed that one of his two pet lizards was acting out of sorts.

"He's just lying there looking sick," the boy said, according to the father's recollection of the memorable evening. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

The dad said that he then "put [his] best lizard-healer expression on [his] face and followed him into his bedroom," only to find that the pet was, in fact, lying on his back "looking stressed."

So the man did what most experienced fathers would: He called his wife over.

After assessing the situation, the wife quickly determined that Bert and Ernie were not two males but were male and female, and Bert had gotten Ernie pregnant.

The whole family watched as Ernie went into labor -- or so they thought.

"We peered at the patient," recounted the dad. "After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later."

There wasn't much progress, so the heroic dad eventually decided to take action.

"Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug," said the father. "It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results."

After trying this a few times without any progress, the family rushed Ernie to the vet, expecting that she would need a lizard C-section. When they arrived, the doctor took a quick look at Ernie and broke the hilarious news to the parents in private.

"This lizard is not in labor," said the doctor. "In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. … As they come into maturity, like most male species, they ... masturbate."

Indeed, female lizards do not have live births but actually lay eggs. If your lizard is pregnant, she'll probably start gaining weight and may act skittish or protective, and you'll usually be able to feel the eggs under her belly after a few weeks, PogoPogona reports of Bearded Dragons. You certainly won't see a "foot" pop out.

The family realized that Ernie had just been "excited," and, with a sinking feeling, the husband realized it was not a foot that he had been grabbing.

The wife spent the next few minutes laughing hysterically.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," the son told his father.

"Oh, you have NO idea," said the wife, as she keeled over with laughter.

Sources: Shareably, Pogo Pogona / Photo Credit: Pixabay

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