One brutally honest mother from Dublin, Ireland, has revealed that she regrets not aborting her twin sons.
Jeanne Measom, 51, had four children with her husband, Guy, and thought her family was complete. So when a 2008 pregnancy test showed positive, Measom was shocked.
Jeanne’s children, Alannah, then 10, and Finn, 7, were from a different father. Then she met Guy and they had a son, Tighe, who was 3 at the time of the unexpected pregnancy, and Charlie, who was 8 months.
The couple reports that they were not using contraceptives at the time because Jeanne was breastfeeding, the Daily Mail reports.
“I stared and stared at the stick when it showed up positive. My husband was as shocked as I was. How on earth could this have happened?” she says.
“I turned to Guy and demanded just how he thought we could cope with five children.”
The mother confesses her first thought was an abortion, according to her website.
“But first I had to see how far gone I was. A scan at the hospital showed I was six weeks pregnant,” Jeanne says. “While it was early enough to terminate the pregnancy, I realized that I couldn’t go through with it.”
“Guy agreed. His rationale was simple: 'What’s one more when you’ve already got four'”
The writer later struggled to give birth to twin boys Jude and Rowan. Jeanne thought that her doubts would vanish as soon as she bonded with the newborns -- but she was wrong.
“One night when they were 10 days old, I stood watching them both finally sleeping at the same time.
“Instead of the warm fuzzy feeling of love and pride I’d felt with my other children, regret burnt inside me.
“I asked myself what had I done. Had I made the wrong choice in not terminating the pregnancy? I felt guilty for even thinking it.”
She even admits to treating her new twin boys differently than her other children.
“With my other kids I took endless pictures of them at every stage, but the twins’ gummy smiles failed to melt my heart.
“I realized there was just no time for that same emotional attachment.
“I didn’t even give them the luxury of a bath for the first year. I was so exhausted, a clean down with wet wipes sufficed.
“When their nappy was changed, their face got a wash -- that was it.”
The turning point for Jeanne was when she enrolled her four youngest children into a playschool for a few hours a week and got her life back on track.
“Rowan and Jude are eight now. I love them -- of course I do. But there were days when they were younger that I honestly regretted having them.
“That might make me sound like a bad mum. I beg to differ.
“I’m an honest mother and the truth that no parent of multiples likes to admit is this: having twins is unrelentingly hard work.”