By Peter Suderman
In theory, the State of the Union provides the president with the opportunity to address the nation, looking forward to the challenges ahead and reflecting on the year behind. But since that's so boring that I could barely type it out without falling into an earnestness-induced stupor, let's talk about the real reason we all care about the State of the Union: drinking games! Especially those that give SOTU-watchers the opportunity to look forward to the broken promises ahead and reflect on the year of gaffes, blame-shifting, and nonsense behind. Properly conducted, by the time the speech is over, you'll be roughly as coherent as a Ted Stevens speech about the Internet.
So watch carefully, then take a drink, and check the link, any time the president...
-- falsely references "false choices."
-- says "there are those who like to say."
-- lies about health care.
-- credits the stimulus for economic recovery (double shot if he confidently asserts that it will continue).
-- claims to have rid Washington of special interests.
-- blames Bush for policies he's perpetuated (try the war, spending, and Guantanamo for starters).
Feel free to drink in between, too, if you're so inclined. And be sure to follow along here at Hit & Run as Reason's editors live-blog the speech.
Disclaimer! Reason endorses drinking responsibly; how else will you know if the president is trying to pull one over on you?