Kim Jong il Nukes Japan to Pass Bloomberg on Forbes Most Powerful List


Radioactive california rolls were flying in downtown Tokyo this morning as Kim Jong il nuked Japan. Speculation was rife over why the North Korean Leader would do such a thing. House Leader John Boehner forbid the 30,000 US troops in South Korea from retaliating until after the ‘Dancing With the Stars’ finale tonight.

Last week Bristol Palin scored an incredible upset over Brandy and tonight she could go all the way. Sanctions designed at halting nuclear enrichment by North Korea and Iran seem to be working well. How do you forbid a country from developing a nuclear bomb when you have thousands and are stationed next door? This is why Hillary Clinton gets paid the big bucks.

Every year Forbes Magazine compiles a list of the world’s most powerful people. This year’s Forbes list of the world’s most powerful people was headed by Hu Jintao. President Obama came second, followed by Saudi King Abdullah, Vladimir Putin and Pope Benedict. Michael Bloomberg came twenty third and Kim Jong il came thirty first.

Kim Jong il is the supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Naming North Korea a democracy is like naming Bristol Palin the world’s best dancer. Today the Korean Central News Agency of the DPRK quoted Kim Jong il:

Kim Jong il: “I am 68 years old. I am the Supreme Leader of a nuclear armed nation with a million man army. In the past month alone I sunk a South Korean Warship, bombed a South Korean island and showed off my lastest nuclear enrichment facility. Who is Michael Bloomberg? The mayor of a city, like Levi Johnston? How many nukes does Michael Bloomberg have? How many men does Michael Bloomberg have in his army? I have more blonde American mistresses than he has soldiers. Tiger Woods is a piker next to me. I’ll show Forbes Magazine. You wanna mess with me? Come on Bloomberg, show me what you’ve got.”


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