Happy Halloween, everybody! In observance of the holiday I thought I’d do a Halloween-themed 500 Words or Less column this morning. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize until about 5:30 Saturday evening how lame it was. By then it was too late to go back. Anyway, this is what I came up with.
Recapping the week in 500 words or less, this is how everybody showed up to the big party:
- Batman: Case Keenum threw nine touchdown passes in Thursday night’s win over Rice. If he isn’t Batman, nobody is.
- Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster: Want to build a championship team? Combine the Miami offense with the Penn State defense. Ok, maybe not championship, but pretty damn good.
- Zombies: Just when we think Arkansas is dead and buried, that rotten hand emerges through the dirt and the Razorbacks rise from the dead. For the second week in a row and the third game in the last four, Arkansas rose from the dead to grab the victory.
- The Thing: It can imitate or become one with the host. The Nebraska cornerbacks became one with the Spartans receivers, blanketing them to hold Kirk Cousins to 86 passing yards—his lowest total since becoming the starter in 2009.
- Ghost: If the Michigan State offense showed up at all it was as some kind of apparition.
- Dr. Octopus: Those Oklahoma receivers form some kind of multi-limbed football-catching machine for Landry Jones. Ryan Broyles caught 14 passes for 171 yards alone, and Kenny Stills caught 4 for 101 yards. And don’t try to tell me Jaz Reynolds doesn’t have some kind of robotic super arms to make those one-handed grabs.
- Elvis: Oklahoma isn’t dead. Some feel the same about Elvis.
- The Flash: Who else but Jeff Demps? He returned a kickoff 99 yards for a touchdown in the cocktail party and went for 72 yards on his lone reception. I guess you could call him Super Gator, too. (I watched this movie. Start to finish. Don’t make that mistake. Or watch it for the bikini girl who does nothing but run through the woods.)
- The Amazing Spider-Man: Georgia receiver Tavarres King looked like Spider-Man when he climbed up Florida defender Jaylen Watkins to grab that third-quarter touchdown pass.
- The Juggernaut: Georgia running back Richard Samuel runs through walls. Like the Juggernaut.
- Mastermind:Baylor outgained Oklahoma State 622-601 in total yards. Shootout, right? Wrong, just an illusion. The Cowboys blew out the Bears 59-24 thanks in large to five Baylor turnovers. By the way, Mastermind is an X-men supervillain for all you non-geeks. He creates illusions.
- The Punk Kids: Georgia Tech’s pumpkin-smashing bender upset the perfect world of the Clemson Tigers. (Clemson wears orange, get it?) The Tigers may have made things a little difficult for them, but Georgia Tech got the better of them in the end.
- The Black Cats: Is there anybody with worse luck than Wisconsin? Killed by the Hail Mary twice in two weeks.
- Thor: Superhuman strength and near-invulnerability. Andrew Luck threw a pick-six that put USC up 34-27 with 3 minutes left. He wasn’t fazed. He led the last minute touchdown drive, and then led three more in overtime to help the Cardinal stay undefeated.
- Dorian Gray: Who else could be the man who doesn’t age but Joe Paterno? Congratulations on the 409 wins, most in Division 1 history.
Case Keenum is Batman and Superman. He Proved He’s Worth the Hype Thursday night in tossing nine touchdowns, two short of former Houston quarterback David Klinger‘s single-game record of 11. Keenum threw for 534 yards in the win, the fifth 500+ yard game of his career. He leads the country with 3,219 passing yards, 32 touchdowns and his 402.38 yards per game also leads the nation. He has completed 71.9% of his passes with just three interceptions. His 194.1 quarterback rating is second in the country.
This week’s New Household Name also played on Thursday night. Miami wide receiver Tommy Streeter caught seven passes for 176 yards and two touchdowns. He had four receptions of 20 yards or more, and has made a season of making big plays. Thursday was his first 100-yard performance of his career.
We’ll have football Tuesday through Saturday again this week.
Tuesday, November 1
- Northern Illinois @ Toledo, 7:00 PM ET, ESPN2
Wednesday, November 2
- Temple @ Ohio, 8:00 PM ET, ESPN
Thursday, November 3
- Florida State @ Boston College, 8:00 PM ET, ESPN
- Tulsa @ UCF, 8:00 PM ET
Friday, November 4
- USC @ Colorado, 9:00 PM ET, ESPN
- Central Michigan @ Kent State, 8:00 PM ET, ESPN2
Saturday, November 5
- Texas A&M @ Oklahoma, TBA
- Michigan @ Iowa, 12:00 PM ET, ESPN
- Texas Tech @ Texas, 12:00 PM ET, FX
- Vanderbilt @ Florida, 12:21 PM ET, SEC Network
- Stanford @ Oregon State, 3:30 PM ET, ABC/ESPN2
- Northwestern @ Nebraska, 3:30 PM ET, Big Ten Network
- Missouri @ Baylor, 7:00 PM ET
- South Carolina @ Arkansas, 7:15 PM ET, ESPN
- Arizona State @ UCLA, 7:30 PM ET, Versus
- Kansas State @ Oklahoma State, 8:00 PM ET
- LSU @ Alabama, 8:00 PM ET, CBS
- Oregon @ Washington, 10:30 PM ET