A Norwegian man got one of his testicles stuck in the hole of an IKEA stool and took to Facebook to detail his ordeal to the company.
“As you can imagine, the skipper is the captain down there, and the sailors are the two nuts that dangle," Claus Jorstad of Alta, Norway, wrote on IKEA Norge's Facebook page on Aug. 31, as translated by The Local. "But then, you are Swedish, and I know that you don’t like direct descriptions of genitals, so I will call them the skipper and his sailors."
The post details exactly what happened to Jorstad, who has a bad knee and was using the IKEA Marius stool in the shower as a seat. While seated in the shower, Jorstad’s testicle got stuck in one of the stool’s holes. However, he didn’t notice until the hot water made it expand and he could not get it out.
“Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what the f--- happened, I [realized] the little nutter has got stuck," Jorstad told the Daily Mail.
“I couldn’t f---ing move," he said. "Imagine an angry Irishman having an incident, cursing his way. And as I couldn't move, I started pondering how the hell I was gonna get outta the mess. After a lot of pondering forth and back, I [realized] I had no bloody ideas."
"The water turned cold by itself, so I started freezing," he continued. "The water got cold. Even more cold than my mother-in-law’s smile when I married her daughter.”
The cold water ended up being Jorstad’s savior, which he didn't realize until he risked electrocuting himself.
“In despair, I reached for the hairdryer to keep warm while pondering, and that’s when I [realized] the nut has got loose from the squirrel stool,” he said.
“It was when I reached for the dryer I [realized] I was a free man,” Jorstad added.
Jorstad thinks the cold water made his testicle shrink back to its normal size, which helped him get it out of the hole.
IKEA responded to Jorstad’s Facebook post, but not in the way you might expect.
“Hey Claus,” IKEA wrote, as translated by the Daily Mail. “We recommend that you take the stool out of the shower... or that you sit on it with the right uniform on and in the right setting. If you choose to keep it in the shower, make sure you are well dressed for your next sea excursion.”
Jorstad later shared a picture on Facebook of the stool with a new accessory: a wash cloth over the holes.
The figure on the wash cloth is named “fantorangen,” which makes sense given what happened to Jorstad.
"'Fant’ is slang in Norwegian for ‘wiener,'" he told the Daily Mail. "You get the picture."
Jorstad does not plan to use the stool in the shower any longer, and has found a new place for it in his home.
As for injuries, he did not sustain any, but his stomach muscles did hurt after laughing at the Facebook post’s comments.