Humans embark on many dangerous missions every single day. Mountain climbing. Jumping out of airplanes. Swimming with the sharks. Any risky activity you can think of, chances are, someone is out there trying it at this very moment.
Recently, one husband decided to embark on the most dangerous mission of all.
The man’s wife needed to be up at 5:00 a.m. in order to finish a big project, but she absolutely hated to wake up early. So when she tasked her husband with the potentially deadly job of ending her hibernation early, he knew he had to take the proper steps to protect himself. He agreed to do what she asked, but only if she signed this:
I, [name], being of sound, mind, and body, hereby declare that I have asked my husband to wake me up at 5 AM on Friday, October 3rd, 2014. Additionally, I agreed that I will not get mad when my forementioned husband wakes me up, as long as he does not wake me up by grabbing my boob and shaking it.
Society owes this married couple a token of gratitude for two reasons. One, for providing a legal precedent for making your not-a-morning-person significant other sign paperwork agreeing not to get mad if you wake them up early. And two, for letting us know that there is an effective alternative method for waking someone up other than shaking their shoulder.