After Phoenix man Tim Lake had an Amazon package stolen from his front porch, he took to the local news to alert the public of his story in a hilarious interview of theatrical distraught.
Thanks to a security camera, Lake was able to see the thief as she walked up onto his lawn. In his interview with CBS, Lake described the woman as a Dog the Bounty Hunter look-alike who had let himself go. Lake added that the woman had vacant, uncaring eyes and obviously lacked a soul.
“She [ran] off into the distance, scurrying almost like she’s got a flat tire in there,” Lake said.
Lake also produced posters to display around his neighborhood with several screenshots of the woman, asking anyone who had seen the woman to alert Lake immediately.
While Lake was robbed of only an ice cube tray and a handful of instant coffee packages, he mourned the lost opportunity to make iced coffee with perfect ice cubes.
When asked what he would say to the woman if he saw her on the street, Lake quoted the movie “Taken.”
“I will look for you, I will find you, and I will convict you,” Lake said.