The Conservative Bible Project, the brainchild of the right-wing Wikipedia website Conservapedia, is encouraging upstanding Christian citizens to contribute to its rewrite of the all-too-liberal New Testament.
The project’s founders propose an all-new “translation” of the King James Bible that clarifies Jesus’ right-wing political leanings. It’s enlisting the help of the “best of the public” to correct the misleading image of a peace-loving, socially minded Jesus that most Christians today are acquainted with.
The job includes redacting certain episodes and phrases that don’t make Jesus sound like quite the Tea Partier that the editors know him to be: for example, omitting Jesus’ famous command, “He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone” (John 7:53-8:11) when a mob prepares to stone a woman accused of adultery.
The editors also propose eliminating Jesus’s forgiving words on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” and changing “Blessed are the meek” to “Blessed are the God-fearing.”
Conservapedia founder Andy Schlafly backs up his translation project by pointing out that the Bible may not be based on accurate testimony, and that it’s the modern god-fearing Christian’s duty “to render God's word into modern English without liberal translation distortions.”
“The simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing,” Schlafly said. “Jesus might never had said it at all.”
Other suggestions: Change Jesus’ blessing to his disciples from “Peace be with you” (John 20, 26) to “Peace of mind be with you,” since God knows one needs to be careful about too much unqualified peace, and include a smattering of the Best New Conservative Words, like capitalism, work ethic, productivity, privatize, pro-life and morally bankrupt.
The Conservative Bible Project was featured on the Colbert Report in 2009 and completed its first draft in 2010.
Sources: San Diego Free Press