By Ernest Perce V
The Pennsylvania House of Representatives is up to its batsh**tery again by approving H.R. 535, a resolution that designates 2012 the “Year of the Bible.” This Resolution was introduced by the Bible-banging Rep. Rick Saccone (R-Elizabeth Township), along with 36 other legislators. This Bible-banger insists that the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States are founded on the Bible.
I am often asked by Christians why I make fun of believers and why I go out of my way to be offensive and ridicule their precious beliefs. Well, this is why. For years believers have gone out of their way to use taxpayer-funded public office to shove their brain-infected, psychotic dogma down my throat. Then they get upset when I will go out of my way to refute them and shove my rational and sane rebuttal right back at them. Many times I use the scriptures just to shut them up and that is why I am known as “The Saint’s Revenge.” After all, you reap what you sow (Gal 6:7). It’s “Game On!” It’s“The Year of the Bible!’”
The way to turn a Christian into an Atheist is to let them read the Bible. Let this year be the year of mockery, ridicule, scorn and public humiliation for the believers. Let the billboards come about and the media onslaughts begin. Yet you, believers wonder why Atheists make fun of you? Sigh.
So, I’m going to “renew your mind” and show you how American Atheists, Inc. will celebrate 2012 as “The Year of the Bible” here in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Yet, I know the majority of supporters of “H.R. 535” will not stand by the scriptures in this hateful, repgunant, mysogynisytic, slave driving book. As the State Director of American Atheists, Inc., I remind you that your bible calls you hypocrites since you are to be doers of the word and not hearers only. (James 1:22). It’s “The Year of the Bible!’”
I know what you’re going to say about some of my points in this letter even before I finish writing this, “That’s the Old Testament. We’re under a different covenant, this is the church age, and God didn’t really mean that…” So I’m going to solve this right now. The Resolution proclaims several falsities, but I’ll touch on one. “WHEREAS, Biblical teachings inspired concepts of civil government that are contained in our Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States…” Your Bible says “Let God be true and every man a liar”, that includes Rep. Saccone! (Rom 3:4) It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
I’m sure you knew that your Bible is clear that all married female Representatives and employees of the Commonwealth that participate in the open prayer in the House, a court, or the public and do not cover their heads are hypocrites. The women who are not covering their heads are openly dishonoring and bringing shame upon their husbands and Jesus, (1Cor 11:5). According to your Bible, they are going to crack hell wide open and burn in a devil’s torture chamber forever. So are the men, since all people should be praying in secret. (Matt 6:5)“The Year of the Bible!’”
There should also be no woman in a position of authority over a man. Remove all female employees of the Commonwealth who have authority over a man. Remove all female police officers and that disobedient Mayor of Harrisburg, Linda Thompson. This woman is an affront to the “The Year of the Bible”. She must be punished immediately since she violates both the scriptures, (1Cor11:5; Matt 6:5). She also flaunts her authority over man as a proud and boastful woman. She forgot about “not usurping authority over man and keeping silent,” (2 Tim 2:11). As a matter of fact, when you walk into the House of Representatives or any place in the Commonwealth and any female asks you to do something, either ignore her or you should say, “You shut your mouth, it is not permitted for you to talk to a man in public or have authority over me. You’re commanded under the Bible to take that uniform off right now and put on some humble clothes ! If you do not understand what I am telling you, then go home right now and ask your husband to teach you some respect. Paul the apostle gave you the command to chew some humble pie topped with silence crème.” Don’t get mad at me Momma Christian, this is in your Bible, (1 Cor 14:34 and 2 Tim 2:11). I’m tired of all you women who are in outright disobedience to God, you should be flogged! It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
I know the majority of you women will say, “Listen here, Mr. American Atheist State Director-Ernest Perce V, all this hate that you’respewing is misunderstood. This is about women in the Churches…” Well, you’re forgetting one thing, the church is not a building. If Jesus comes back and steals the church, it certainly isn’t going to be the thousands of buildings around the Commonwealth. This however, would be awesome because we could build useful hospitals, clinics, and schools that would rehabilitate all the harmed children from the Catholic and Protestant churches. You folks are going to spend your whole life preparing to meet the Lord when he rapture your physical bodies into outer space. He’s coming for the church as a thief in the night. Has it ever dawned on you why we think you are just plain damned nuts when you cite 1 Thess 4:16 -17? Jesus please rescue us all from your followers! They are crazy as Hell! It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
By the way, stop your complaining about how terrible your husbands are and how pathetic you feel in your marriage. Don’t you know that you should do all things without complaining and murmuring? Marriage is a covenant that lasts forever. You have no right to personal happiness anyway. God doesn’t give a rip about the happiness of a wife. You are to cast your care on him and live a life that is longsuffering. Women are the reason that marriage fails, (Eph 4:2 ,1Pet 5:7). No woman on earth can follow this verse, not a day goes by that Mayor Linda Thompson isn’t bickering and complaining to someone in private who then turns around and gossips the story about the Mayor calling Dan Miller, “that homosexual, evil little man.” (Phil 2:14). It’s “The Year of the Bible”
According to this book of talking snakes, donkeys and the Whore of Babylon who rides a seven-headed beast, you, the wives are the reason that Adam got us into this mess. Then you get all upset when we just complain that your food is terrible! Women, in the Bible’s eyes you’re good for one thing, making your husband sandwiches in the name of the Lord. Don’t disobey him! You had better be obedient unto your husband and submit to him as you would unto Jesus (Eph 5:22). Next time he tells you to do the laundry, do it immediately. If you are told to clean up and do the dishes after a long day at work, do it! Don’t back talk with some foul rhetoric about how hard you’ve just been working at your job. Be the Prov 31 woman. Don’t you dare change that Superbowl channel during the game because you’re feeling ignored. Go and hand-wash his clothes and sell some scarlet in the city so you can bring him home a paycheck! It’s ““The Year of the Bible!’”
I want to talk to you greedy people who are money hungry in the Commonwealth. You are the people complaining about getting paid more money all the while you wear your fancy suits and drive your expensive cars. What would the Jesus and his mother Mary of the Bible wear and ride? Hand-me-down clothes! They would have also ridden a donkey. For the most part Jesus walked everywhere he went. They were servants of the people, not pimps and princesses and rockstars. The next time one of you women shows up at the House or Capitol all gussied up wearing a miniskirt and sexy stockings with really high heels, be ready because we are commanded to stone you for outright disobedience to God since you’re dressed up in whorish attire and making us men stumble in lust. It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
You should dress like Jim Bob Duggar’s wife; awful and with no make up. The Bible is clear that you are to let it not be the outward adorning of the body and the fancy jewels that capture our attention. You aren’t allowed to wear them; you are to look like your plain old selves, and be proud of the way God has deteriorated your face with wrinkles and the abundance of gray hair. You women are a bunch of hypocritical liars. Trying to deceive us by making yourselves look you did thirty years ago! God likes it when you women look like a used-up old Mac truck showing your years of many rigorous miles. God wants to put you in your place, subservient and subordinate to man. (1Peter 3-5) It’s ““The Year of the Bible!’”
Every Representative and citizen of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is to give 100% of their paycheck to the Commonwealth for equal distribution. We should see a stronger push in the House for all Commonwealth citizens to relinquish their entire paychecks to the Commonwealth thus ending the rule of the wealthy. Everyone gets an equal amount of money no matter the importance or relevance of the work they do. Doctors, your are the same as a person who picks berries. If anyone hide any money from the Priest or the Commonwealth in any way, it is the death penalty for them, “That’s socialism” you say! No, Rep. Rick Saccone says it’s “The Year of the Bible” (Act 5:9).
Let’s talk about those evil repugnant Atheists and Islamic folk! How dare they live in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania! After all, everyone who doesn’t believe in the Bible is a child of the devil. That includes your own children and even your closest friends. I expect you to not be a hypocrite and tell the truth to these people. Kick every one of these heathen from the Commonwealth or, like the Bible says, why don’t you get the hell out of our state because we don’t receive you? (Matt 10:14). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
The Bible says for you to continue preaching the gospel and shake the dust off your feet and go to the next country. Don’t have anything to do with someone who isn’t a believer. After all, anyone who isn’t a believer is Belial, Lord of the Flies. (2Cor 2:6:14-7:1). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Let’s see you hypocrites in office put up a sign in the Rotunda in the month of December saying “Greetings, Children of Satan, Filthy Maggots,You’re of your father the devil!” Let’s see you have some guts! The wicked man hides when no one chases him, but the righteous are as bold as a lion. (Prov 28:1) it’s “The Year of the Bible.”
I also want to see a law reinstating slavery. It is high time I get a law that allows me the first right to buy my personal friend, Senator Anthony Williams. He’s really a nice person, and we were both extremely poor growing up. However, In the name of the Bible I’m going to whip him with a rod within an inch of his life. I’ll also need some funding from the state for this as I’d like to spend the taxpayers money on something biblical, since it’s “The Year of The bible!” Think of it as a Vouchers program, I’m going to move him out of South Philadelphia to the West Shore of Harrisburg. Don’t worry; I just want to punish him severely for his rude comments to Atheists kids in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. I don’t want to be punished by God for killing him. If I keep him alive I’ll get passage from God since he will be my property. He wants to ban Atheists from sectarian schools that will use vouchers/tax dollars. He deserves a good whipping in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Yes, that is Ex 20:21 and “It’s the Old Testament” you say? Well heaven and earth will pass before one jot or tittle of the law passes away, (Matt 5:18). We are still on earth and the Old Testament is still in effect. By the way, I’m also going to change the name of my friend, Senator Anthony Williams to Toby, since he will be my slave and he will have to obey me. Don’t worry, the Senator will be very happy with his new carreer because “Slaves obey your masters for this is pleasing to the Lord.” (Eph 6:5, Col3:22,1Pet2:18). It’s “The Year of the Bible!’
I’m positive that there are some thieving, lying, whore mongering, adulterers within the Commonwealth. It’s high time they get some rocks bashed upside their heads in the name of the Lord. It’s also time your disobedient child gets a boulder to his face as well. Jesus endorses the stoning of children (Mark 7:9-13). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
You call the Bible the “Book of Love” and the word “love” is found only 310 times out of 774,746 words in the Bible. That’s all! “Happiness” and “Fun” are not even in the Bible. You should tell that to your children. I bet that they would rather read a copy of “Harry Potter”! Freedom? “Freedom” is what our constitution is based on. However, it is only in the Bible twice; once when Paul claims he was born free, and again when we are told to beat the hell out of a raped female. This sounds like Rick Santorum Rhetoric! (Acts 22:27,28; Lev 19:20) Death, mourning and sorrow are all to be sought after more than laughter. Just read Ecclesiastes. Next time you tell someone “money isn’t the answer to everything,” you should be slapped in the face for calling Jesus a liar. Jesus is the Word of God, (John 1:14). The Bible says (Ecc 10:19) “money answereth everything.” It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
I am ready to see you Representatives in the House, or what the Bible calls you “hypocrites” to make changes in 2012 that will be dramatic. Here are the laws I want to see put into action because after all, It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
I want laws that allow us to make life harder on the disabled people. I want laws that allow us to mock them for being repugnant and physically impaired. After all, the Bible says…
Anyone who has a physical defect being blind, lame, facially disfigured, deformed, hucnhbacked, dwarfed or crushed testicals are repulsive to God. You are to be imitators of God, (Eph 5:1). The next time you see a mentally challenged person you should start screaming like you just stepped in a pile of dog poop. That is how God feels about the physically disabled, they were not even allowed to go to church, (Lev 21:16-24) It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Enact the death penalty for a child who hits his parents, even if the child is only 2 years old, (Ex 21:15,17). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
If your son is a glutton or a drunkard he should be drug outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and stoned to death (Deut 21:20,21). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Shut down all buffets in the Commonwealth since Christians can’t help themselves from being fat and overweight. Gluttony is a sin that will send them to hell since the Bible commands the glutton to slice his own throat. (Prov 23:2,20,21) It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Work on the Sabbath you shall die (Ex 35:2;31:14). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Anyone who has sex with a beast shall be killed including the beast. I don’t care if the Humane Society goes crazy! (Ex 22:19). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Threesomes with your wife and mother in law? Death! Even if she looks like Raquel Welch! (Lev 20:14). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Don’t you dare come near the candlestick in any church, it is holy lest you die! (Num 18:3). It’s“The Year of the Bible!”
Passing yourself as a virgin is punishable by the death penalty, that includes you born again virgins (Deut 22:20,21). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Disobeying Bishop McFadden of Harrisburg commands the death penalty, He’ll agree (Deut 17:12).It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Kill all witches (Wiccans, Sorceres and Warlocks and those who look to their cell phones to know the future weather, that’s sorcery! (Ex 22:18). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
If a female is raped in the city and can’t cry out loud, she is to be killed. This doesn’t apply to outside the city (Deut 22:23,24). Be sure to tell his to your daughter that even if she is raped and forced to silence, you’ll have to stone her because she didn’t cry out loud, after all she is only property. It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
If a female is virgin who is not engaged and is raped by a savage she shall be forced to marry the rapist. All the rapist has to do is pay the dad 50 shekles of silver. They are never allowed to divorce either, (Deut 22:28,29). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Of course, if your child is gay, beat the hell out of them and kill them both. (Lev 20:13). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
Oh, and for those who utter Yahweh’s secret name “YHWH”, they will die too (Lev 24:13). It’s “The Year of the Bible!”
As the Pennsylvania State Director of American Atheists, Inc., it’s time for the Atheists to celebrate the “The Year of the Bible!” Let’s publicly parade that this is the year that our Representatives in the House had nothing better to do than pride a book of such worthless dogma. We will start with billboards. Our local groups in the Commonwealth will organize and celebrate “The Year of the Bible!” We will mock the Resolution of your Bible’s talking snakes, wizardry, faith healing, eternal torture, crackers turning into Jesus, zombies walking the face of the earth, circumcision and the list goes on and on. Atheists are not afraid to make 2012 the “The Year of the Bible!”, after all, it will be the greatest exodus of Christisans becoming Atheists in the history the Commonwealth!
If your name has been attached to this Resolution be on the lookout for the public mockery from Atheists in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.