“Hello, in case you haven’t ever noticed me, my name’s Lady Gaga.
“I’m the Queen of gimmickery and recycling other peoples’ ideas. I studied the careers of both Andy Warhol and Madonna at length before I burst onto the pop scene and now will do anything to get myself in the papers.
“Please notice me.
“If this burka which one of my servants was up all night sewing racoon tails onto isn’t enough (ha- I’m sure PETA will not be able to resist commenting on that – that should get me some column inches), I’m also holding a purse that spells out the word C*NT which I’m carrying with me at the Philip Treacy London Fashion Week show.”
“Please notice me. Please? … That smell’s my new perfume- FAME – you must buy it and I got a new tattoo on my head during it’s launch because I’m like rilly arty and stuff.
“No, it’s the perfume you can smell- not me reeking of desperation, honestly. ”
“And, now you have noticed me, (because really I’m just misunderstood, like you are) – please buy tickets to my tour and my albums and anything else I’m currently selling.
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