If we were Gwyneth Paltrow, we'd drag out the old Se7en joke every year and pop a rubber model of our head in a box with a decorative ribbon tied around it, but the actress has some much more odd suggestions for any delusional millionaires in need of a bit of inspiration. Yep, forget any ideas about buying your kid a new Nintendo - get them a personalised chopping board instead! It's obviously much better if your child is named after a fruit, veg or homeware brand, but it works either way…
Oh Gwynnie… She really does have some corkers lined up for little Apple, Moses and Chris Martin this year… And she also drops a few hints of her own, writing "I've always wanted a one shouldered exercise top". Go on, Chris - make a lady's Christmas wish come true.
As you'll see on Goop.com, the 'holiday gift guide' is divided into sections. She starts with 'tunes', suggesting serious music fans will like a record player such as Dieter Rams and Hans Gugelot’s 1956 SK 4 for Braun [approx £2,795.00 used]. "Alternatively," she says, "go for an iPhone horn large and luxe or small and practical from Giftlab [£649.00]. Make a cool and meaningful playlist to go along with the gift." Splendid. Jay-Z will be thrilled.
But what if your friends are hipsters? She's got this covered, being such a cool groovy funkster herself, writing, "For the hipster in your life, a cool clutch or travel pouch from Baggu x Fredericks and Mae, or Falconwright or Otis Batterbee, for example, with a favorite novel plus tickets to a concert or a play tucked inside."
But what if your friends are awful? Monogrammed napkins! "For the hostess, a set of antique linen napkins embroidered with her initials. At Guinevere in London they have a huge supply of vintage monogrammed napkins. If you’re lucky, they’ll have your initials. Otherwise, go for plain linen napkins and get them monogrammed."
And back to that kids classic - the personalised chopping board, she says; "A few years ago, a friend gave our family this personalized cutting board which I love from Marnie Moyle in the UK, but you can find similar at old goop faithful, The Monogram Shop."
And what if your friend could really do with some luck? Gwyneth would put her hand in her pocket and give them some money. Just kidding! She actually says, "Fold 1,000 paper cranes for a friend who needs a wish." LOL.
Now it's time for Chris to cover his ears… She reckons she's been 'saving her dollars' for an exercise bike, writing:
"Truth be told, I’m a die-hard SoulCycle fanatic (I try to convert people daily). While my success rate will not be revealed, once I heard that the ‘spinning powers that be’ were selling their bikes, I’ve been saving my dollars ever since. If he hates working out, this will transform him. If he’s into being fit, he’ll appreciate this even more. Ride or Die.
But what if you want to stop him wearing elastic bands on his wrist? Easy - get him some proper bangles instead! Gwynnie adds:
"There’s a fine line when it comes to jewelry for the guys – even the smallest bit of ‘wrong’ can leave a lasting impression. Miansai Jewelry is made for dudes (by a dude) and his nautical inspired pieces are the perfect gift for that guy who has everything (and cares about his sartorial needs)."
Finally, here are some general tips from Paltry:
Timing is everything. Give something that is relevant right now: When a friend has a Christmas party, bring her breakfast for the next morning: a pretty tray, a loaf of good bread, some homemade butter and jam.
When in doubt, keep it practical: A beautiful roll of baker’s twine and some homemade vanilla for a baker, a box of hand-dipped beeswax tapers or some fleur de sel in a pretty container for your weekend hostess.
Add a personal flourish to make your gift extra special: Give a vintage ironstone teapot filled with slips of paper listing all the reasons you love the recipient.
Don’t get hung up on the idea that your gift has to be expensive to be memorable: Fold 1,000 paper cranes for a friend who needs a wish, or give a brooch from your collection to someone who’s admired it.
And when you need a super-amazing gift, start a collection: Collect all the editions of a friend’s favorite book and give one every time there’s an occasion, or start a collection of cocktail shakers for your favorite martini making guy.
Think outside the box (literally): Don’t skimp on the wrapping. I always keep a stash of pretty paper and boxes, beautiful ribbon and add-ons like vintage letters and postcards so my gifts are beautiful inside and out.
P.S. Greenhouse Design Studio has a “Something Personal” section, perfect if you’re looking for a personalized, thoughtful gift.