There's a lot of nonsense to wade through out here in the Wild West of the blogosphere. But every so often, you stumble across a post that just makes you say, "RIGHT THE EFF ON!" Such is the case with a lady who assumes the moniker "Nerdy Apple Bottom."
Her post "My Son Is Gay" details how her son wanted to be Daphne from "Scooby-Doo" for Halloween, then experienced panic and fear of ridicule when it came time to sport the getup and get to the school parade. Turns out it wasn't the other kids her "Boo" had to worry about. It was the parents!
She wrote: "Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, 'Doesn't he look great?' And Mom A says in disgust, 'Did he ask to be that?!' I say that he sure did, as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn't I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.
"And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have 'allowed' this, and thank God it wasn't next year when he was in kindergarten, since I would have had to put my foot down and 'forbid' it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn't imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed. My response to that: 'The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.'"
Can you BELIEVE?! This poor mom!
There's more in between (read the full post here), but NAB righteously continues:
"If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kindhearted 5-year-old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him .... I hate that those women thought those thoughts -- and worse, felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that pink is still called a 'girl color' and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween .... My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is 'normal' and what is not, but to help him become a good person. I hope I am doing that. And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn't want it any other way."
YEAOUS! Well said, Nerdy! We think you rock!
And know what? You're absolutely right. Two days before Halloween, my 3-year-old daughter decided that she was over being a dinosaur and instead wanted to be Superman. Not Supergirl. Not Wonder Woman. SuperMAN.
So I bought her the costume. She rocked the sh*t out of it and no one said a word. Not to my face, anyway.
It sucks out loud that our kids in their innocence have to contend with a wealth of insane double standards when it comes to gender identification.
Here's hoping parents like you keep doing what you do, and manage to open a couple of eyeballs here and there along the way.