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My Husband Wanted a Paternity Test

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Anonymous: Before I ever got pregnant, my husband told me he wanted a paternity test. He said it was nothing personal, but every smart man should get one. Otherwise, he might get financially stuck raising someone who is not his kid. I was appalled. I kept telling him it meant that he didn't trust me. That he was assuming I would cheat (and be dumb enough to get pregnant).

One time it even came up in front of his parents -- who told him how rude it was. But he was adamant that there would be a paternity test. There was no discussion about it. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even tell my friends or family. Just like prenups and other contracts, he felt it was the sensible thing to do. So I said my kid would take my last name, if that was what he wanted to do. Then I got pregnant, and he went to every ultrasound and doctor's appointment. Each time, I asked him, "Are you seriously going to get a paternity test?" and he would say, "Yes." Even when I said I wouldn't allow it, he said all he needed was a strand of the baby's hair. 

What was this saying about me that he would even think to ask? I had never given him reason to doubt my fidelity. He said it wasn't personal and that he would have asked anyone. Even though we had tried to get pregnant with ovulation sticks and timed intercourse, he still wanted scientific proof. 

When my daughter was born and they handed her to me, there was no denying she was my husband's kid. She was his clone. It was scary how much they looked alike. And in the end, he didn't get the test. He was so in love with her, and there was no denying she was his kid. I was relieved. I asked him what he would do if he found out she wasn't his. And he said he wouldn't be financially responsible for her -- eighteen years is a big investment. 

My daughter looked like him the way most babies look like their father -- for this very reason. It is evolutionary, so in primitive days men did not abandon their babies. It was the caveman DNA test.


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