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Choosing Your Perspective

by Bette Levy Alkazian

The beauty of this life is that in every moment we have choices.  Lots of choices.  We aren’t always aware of them, but they are still there.  I love this awareness and believe it is essential that we teach it to our kids, as well.

If you are grumpy, you are making that choice.  If you are angry, you are making THAT choice.  If you are happy, you are also making that choice.  Even when things aren’t going our way, we can make a different choice than to be unhappy about it.  It’s learning to understand that we can’t control everything.  It’s also learning that life is easy when all is going well.  Our true test of character is challenged when things don’t go our way.  That is when we grow the most.

I’m not saying we should all be happy all of the time.  That’s not realistic, nor would it teach our kids what we want them to know about coping with all that life has to offer.  However, there are times when we are choosing to be cranky, angry, depressed, grumpy, etc… when it’s not necessary and not healthy for our family relationships and especially for our kids.

Life is filled with stresses.  Our task is to learn to balance them and even conquer them.  We have so many tools at our disposal, that we have no good excuses not to use them all for the sake of spending healthy, quality time with our family. 

So, no more using stress as an excuse not to have a good relationship with your spouse!  No more using stress as an excuse not to play with your kids.  The measure of the person is how he or she handles things in the tough times.  Be a good role model and add some much-needed laughter into your family!

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.” Anonymous.

About Bette Levy Alkazian

Beth Levy Alkazian, LMFT, a marriage and family psychologist, parenting coach and speaker, was one of the seven finalists out of 15,000+ applicants to become Good Morning America’s Advice Guru.  She is the author of Parenting Backwards.  Learn more about Bette at


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