There are only two acceptable uses for a hamster; as a playmate for a child, or as a prostate tickler. You'll notice that there was no mention of deploying hamsters as some kind of promotional tool for teenage popstars.
Exceedingly rich hop-pop princeling Justin Bieber, having been taught from a very young age by his mentor/manager Scooby Brown that life is cheap, didn't care much for these 'acceptable uses', and decided that during a recent gig that he would give his pet hamster away to a fan. WHICH HE HAD ONLY HAD SINCE OCTOBER. Its name was Pac. Here's what the emotionally stable fan he gave it to had to say about the whole affair:
"I waited outside after the concert and he just gave it to me!!! And I have some haters now but it's okay I'm a strong girl and Justin chose me for a reason! (sic)"
As you might expect, one or other of the animal rights groups was furious about the whole affair, labelling it as cold blooded murder:
"The moment that hamster was handed off to a screaming girl in a harsh, frenzied environment was likely the moment it gazed at the short path to its doom,"
The hamster's new owner wasn't interested in any criticism by haters who didn't understand how amazingggg Justin Bieber is, loooool, saying instead that she'd be treating the hairy rat "like a tiny rodent god", which many of you'll remember is a quote from Enter the Rat King, an episode of TMNT.
Excitingly we've even managed to find a video of the event, seemingly filmed lovingly on a vintage Betamax Recording Device. Don't worry about the image quality though, because the sound quality (and volume) is through the roof.
If you were hoping not to hear screaming children today, sorry.