The founder of "Penthouse" magazine died last week and his funeral was a star-studded affair. For a taste of what happened, enjoy today's list of the Top Things Overheard at Bob Guccione's Funeral.
Fitting, he gets to spend eternity in a box.
Everything's so meticulously planned. But then, Bob was always very anal.
Shed your tears now, but save your other bodily fluids for the reception.
I've actually seen him stiffer than this.
He took a bunch of Viagra before he died, so it's open casket.
Hand sanitizer! Step up and get your hand sanitizer for a dollar!
Wow, there haven't been this many STDs in one room since the last episode of "Jersey Shore".
Not surprisingly, the pages to the program are stuck together.
He originally wanted a metal casket, but then he looked at one of his models and "got wood."
Look at this huge bouquet sent by the good folks at Bounty.
Dear "Penthouse": "I never thought anything like this could happen to me, but I was at Bob Guccione's funeral when I saw her . . ."