With remarkable candor, Tammy Lynn Michaels has opened up about her break-up with Melissa Etheridge.
She does so not in an interview or in a new book -- the former Popular star poured her feelings out in a poem she has posted on her blog Hollywood Farm Girl that reveals far more than Etheridge did during her recent appearances promoting her latest album.
The former couple share two children, and Tammy’s hurt is quite raw.
Here are some excerpts:
things can be a long time coming
and smash the hell out of
hit and run
not even staying to clean up the mess
disappearances into the
hourglass-shaped wood with strings
never to finish a fight
never interested in clarifying,
making sense, making it right
even finishing the fight
more interested in making something rhyme
time after time after time
and later angsting that you and me, WE
it didn’t work out
you needed to be happy-
but really… you withdrew your hands
from family and intimacy
to pluck those strings more
‘d rather hear 10,000 fans
screaming my name in worship
than hear my wife harp on me
about my family intimacy issues too,
which one is going to get me harder?
sideswiped and left mangled
up to my eyes in toilet training toddlers
and sounds of a guitar wailing
letting me know
you would probably leave me soon
i know those heart-ache wails by now
i even told you it was a break up album
and you laughed at me
you laughed and laughed
i heard fearless and i got sick
“that’s your break up song with me”
i said to you
you got so angry with me, remember?
and stomped off
so thank you for telling an interviewer
that you WON’T censor me on my blog
(i thought i was to say nothing, my bad)
i was so unhappy thinking people dare look at me
and think that i consider
a marriage and forever to be
nine years or six years or whatever
and i gave up on everything
and just walked off
never is that me… nope, never
cuz i did not go anywhere, honey.
and you and i both know it
please stop telling the press it was mutual-
still love that damn woman so much, i’m still trying to stop. i had a dream last where honey and i were fighting and going to get a divorce, and i woke up sobbing…. then i realized. oh. it’s true. and then what do you do? when the horrible feeling in the dream gets to stay even after you wake up?