Human conker and perma-tanned Jersey Shore star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is to publish her first novel.

Snooki’s writing a bookie. How novel. And no, we’re not expecting another War and Peace.

Snooki will pen a novel called, wait for it…A Shore Thing. See what she did there? Clever girl.

Gallery Books will be releasing the novel in January. We can expect a fable that tells the story of “a girl looking for love on the boardwalk (one full of big hair, dark tans and fights galore),”according to a press release.

“I’m pumped to announce to my fans a project that I’ve been working on for some time,” says Snooki. “This book will have you falling in love at the shore.It’s ‘A Shore Thing!’”

While the editor-in-chief of Gallery asks, “Who better than Snooki to write a fun, sexy novel about a single girl looking for love on the Jersey Shore?”

Erm, someone who can actually string a sentence?

Meanwhile, the Tango wonder has denied a recent story that she was hospitalised for alcohol poisoning.

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