Picture: Katy Perry With Mystery Man


One of the best things about pictures is that you can read pretty much whatever you want into them. The're like the opposite of a book.

A photo of Kelly Osbourne wearing a skirt and sneezing? "KELLY O SUFFERS EPILEPTIC FIT AFTER CRAZY NEW DIET". Pete  Doherty sitting outside a pub? "DOHERTY LEFT PARAPLEGIC BY DRUG USE AFTER BOOZE BINGE". A picture of Kelly  Brook in a bikini? "KELLY  BROOK LIES DOWN IN A BIKINI". Oh Kelly.

Which leads us onto the above pictures of a recently divorced Katy Perry on a night out, recently. What we do know about these snaps:

  • That's Katy Perry
  • The picture was taken at night

What we're pretty sure we know about these pictures:

  • That man with Katy is her new boyfriend/lover, Jack Newlove, and they are very happy together, despite Russell's continual phone calls begging her to take him back, after he lost almost a million dollars of her money investing in a company that makes condoms that double as party hats.

What we're not sure about:

  • If he is actually gay
  • If he is actually a close friend
  • If he is actually a relative

What we really have no idea about whatsoever:

  • Why people wear sunglasses at night


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