Parody of Email From Taylor Swift to Conor Kennedy

Hi Baby,

Hope you’re having a good day. How’d that trigonometry exam go? Let me know if you are still having problems. I’ll have my manager’s sister-in-law call you. She home schools her kids and is available most of the day except 1:00-2:00 when Days of Our Lives is on.

Yesterday was weird. I had interviews all day about my new song. Everyone keeps asking whom my song “We Are never Getting Back Together” is about. Why do they always think my songs are about anybody? I’ll tell you whom it is NOT about. You. Because you are my everything. You and I will be together forever. How do I know this? Whenever I play MASH it tells me this.

Anyway, back to our conversation last night. I love you so much my eyes hurt. You know? Instead of taking calls about my investment portfolio or my set list for my world tour I could only think about you and how much you like to skateboard. You’re so good at it. I swear. Has anyone told you that?

Things just seem better when we are together. I thought buying the house next to your grandmother and across the street from your uncle and down the street from your cousins would make things easier for us. Just knowing we could meet up in the alley after your curfew. Me in a full black tracksuit and facemask. You with your Varsity baseball jersey. Your gorgeous full long and unbrushed hair flapping in the evening breeze.

So here is my idea. I’m going to send my jet to the airport near school. My guy Benny will get you in a town car. I’ll make sure there is enough trunk space for your lacrosse stick and your boogie board. Then we can spend some time together. Maybe hit a water park or try mini golf? But if this is too much for me, just being away from you, then I have another idea. I know you said there is a spring formal in March. Maybe you can talk to your friends on the dance committee and see if they can reserve the all purpose room for a wedding reception? It would be amazeballs. Think about it.

Also, can you put me on your visiting list?

Love you SO much,


-Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. New mom. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter @KateCasey


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