The singer pours her heart out as she talks about feeling insecure as she looks into her dressing room mirror at the MadisonSquareGarden.
Gaga says, “I was in the worst mood on the way here. I just get so revved up when I do these benchmark shows you know, ’cause I start to think about all the people that have tried to stop me… I think about how I don’t really give a s**t if people don’t understand what I do as long as my fans understand.
“I just sometimes feel like a loser still, you know. It’s crazy ’cause it’s like we’re at the Garden but I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school.
“I gotta (sic) pick myself up and I have to tell myself that I’m a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be. But sometimes I still feel like people are trying to destroy me.
“I’m fighting for every kid that’s like me, that felt like I felt and feels like I still feel… I just wanna be a queen for them and sometimes I don’t feel like one. It’s not about being a winner for me anymore. It’s about being a winner for all of them.”
The video footage was filmed at the first of the year for her HBO special, showing the controversial singer praying, “Please give me strength to be a winner for all of them and not myself… Please help me to be strong and know my own strength. Please help me to be brave, Lord. Dear God, give me courage. Do not let me give in to my own insecurities.”
LadyGaga Presents the Monster Ball Tour: At Madison Square Garden is scheduled to air on May 7, 2011.