Here in the HM office we've really tried to take an interest in Kate Winslet, but we just can't. In a poll involving the three HM staff actually doing work rather than chair racing, two said she was boring and mumsy and the other mumbled something about tits. Has she won an Oscar? What's her middle name? How old is she? WE SIMPLY DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS AND NEVER WILL.
Luckily for Kate, Harper's Bazaar are nicer than us and care about her very much. Well, nice enough to ask her about the things she's doing anyway. Unfortunately for them, rather than coming up with an anecdote about those risque pictures her husband got banned over Christmas or when her uncle-in-law (is that a title?) is going to shoot her into space, Kate decided to talk about some artsy-fartsy acting crap and the state of the Queen's hair:
“I’ve really learnt a great deal about myself, in the last four years in particular. I think I can see more clearly now - about how the pattern of past experiences has shaped who I am, and the characters I have played - and I’m grateful for that. I have so much more material to draw on for work - rubble, bricks - and I know I can carry it now.”
“Oh my God, she [the Queen] looks amazing. Beautiful skin - and wonderful thick hair. She looked really well and pretty and fresh, and she was wearing a lovely pale-yellow dress.”
Pale yellow clothes and thick hair. That ol' Queenie sure nows how to knock 'em dead.
So, having read this, are you finding yourself wanting to discover more about Kate Winslet or, like us, are you still having trouble mustering a fuck? DO TELL US.