You probably haven’t heard about it but Justin Timberlake has released a new album. He’s kept that whole thing pretty hush-hush. It’s called The 20/20 Experience and has a song where he refers to his wife’s vagina as strawberry bubblegum (YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHEW IT, MAN!) He had a party to celebrate and invited a really odd selection of people.
“Who do you want to come to your album launch party, Justin? Should we invite Timbaland, who produced it? Maybe some of your famous friends from the film The Social Network? Jay-Z? You like Jay-Z…"
“No. I want a swimmer, a lot of actor-turned-singers that everyone will have to Google, the girl out of Pitch Perfect and three members of the world’s ropiest boyband.”
What we think really happened is this isn’t Justin’s proper party at all. The clue is that it was sponsored by Clear Channel and Target and the red carpet wall is emblazoned with company logos. That doesn’t normally happen when a person has a party, does it? You might hang a few streamers up. But that’s about it.