As if there wasn't already enough badly written, joyless dross on television at the moment, imagine if Justin Bieber's suddenly decided to stick his turdy little toe into the already overcrowded waters with of hilarious sitcom about his early life. If that doesn't sound like something you'd already purposefully put yourself into a coma to avoid, imagine how much worse it could be if it was written by the earth shatteringly smug team behind celebrity wankfest Entourage. It'd be the perfect storm of shitty, unwatchable TV.
Well get used to it, because if TV Guide are to be believed (and why wouldn't they?) then it's going to happen. Apparently US channel ABC has commisioned a pilot for the show, which is to be written by Entourage's Matt Wolpert and Ben Nedivi and executive produced by Bieber and his manager Scooby Brown. As of yet, there's been no explanation as to why anyone would want to do such an awful, terrible thing, even if it is the channel that once made Geri Halliwell's talent show. The fact that he's successful now is bad enough for most people, but the idea that we'd be shown more of his life than we've already seen is just too much.
Please stop this before it goes any further. The recent cancellations of the US versions of both Only Fools and Horses and The Inbetweeners should have been a sign that things were getting better, not an indicator of how much worse they could be. Do the right thing, America. Do the right thing.