Has everyone had that guilty feeling you get when someone tells you off, and despite the fact they're right, you still shout them down anyway, sniggering and shaking your head the whole time because of their unconscionable stupidity? Like when someone who doesn't drink tells you those shooting pains you've been getting from your liver going up your spine like a freight train from hell aren't natural, and neither is the blood in your vomit nor the periodic fainting?
Nope. Us neither. Stupid teetotallers telling everyone how to live their lives. How about you try and loosen up a bit you bloody squares? Would it kill you to have a good time once every blue moon? I don't sit here telling you not to drink fruit juice and excercise three times a week because it's boring, do I?...sorry, we. We mean we.
Anyway, Jessie J, a woman who due to cardiac problems, doesn't drink or smoke or shoot H into the soles of her feet, has come out after a recent gig at Trinity College, Dublin, both shocked and dismayed at how plastered everyone was. No reflection on the quality of the music, silly drunks (via Twitter):
"Just came off stage at Trinity ball. Probably one of the hardest gigs to date. To see so many people so drunk they couldn't even stand. Girls unconscious and students were literally trampling on each other. It wasn't easy... I was just shocked at how intoxicated they were. Binge drinking is dangerous."
Of course, the last person you want to meet on the internet is a drunk, ex-Jessie J fan, they can be soooo cruel, as she found out...
"Why am I getting so much shit for being concerned about my fans? Binge drinking exists everywhere and I never singled out Ireland. I had a great time in Ireland and met some incredible fans, but this Twitter is about a journey so I'm not gonna ignore things that bother me."
Oh Jessie J. Surely you know not to call the Irish drunks, just like you don't call the Turkish food terrorists or the Lithuanians floor-huggers. Still, you'll know for next time, eh? Maybe have a quick drink beforehand to calm your nerves though, or perhaps a bump of celebrity salt? Couldn't hurt, could it.