Gwyneth Paltrow Challenges: Find Bible Quote That Says Being Gay is Wrong


That bloody Gwyneth Paltrow has been at it again, and this time she's attacking the people attacking the gays. As if those poor churchgoing folk weren't having enough trouble just getting hold of rainbow paint for their signs, heretical books for their fires, and mourning families for their lambasting, now they've got the amateur chef and wheatgrass enthusiast e-shouting at them from the parapets of her million pound townhouse. Shameful, that's what it is. Shameful.

According to Gwyneth's newest GOOP newsletter, she's just about had enough of homosexuals being told they can't marry each other, especially with the price of being fabulous skyrocketing at the moment, so she's decided to challenge all those angry christian types to actually find a reference in the Bible that says girls can't love girls, and not just when they don't have enough money for the pizza boy*.

A few months ago, in the heat of the tragic teen suicides that came about from intolerance of homosexuality, I saw a man on television who was apologizing for wishing death on gays from his facebook page. This member of an Arkansas school board was contrite for the violence in his words, but maintained that his values pertaining to homosexuality would remain, as he felt homosexuality was condemned in the bible. This concept, while foreign to me, is interesting, as it used to justify so much judgement and separation in our society.

When my daughter came home from school one day saying that a classmate had two mommies, my response was, "Two mommies? How lucky is she?!" What does it actually say in the bible that will cause some people to be upset by my line of thinking?

So there you go, a challenge has been issued: find a quote in the Bible that says Gwyneth Paltrow's constant opinions on everything are upsetting. It'll be tough, but worth it. Perhaps we can mobilise the entire Christian church against her newsletters. Just imagine.

Incidentally, we thoroughly agree with what she's said, but don't let that stop the flow of putrid bile aimed at her jugular. Of course that wouldn't actually do anything except make her neck smell bad and possibly itch a bit, but you get the idea.

*It happens all the time. Don't ruin it.

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