A racoon blowing into a breathalyzer because a sailor was too drunk to start his car? It sounds too good to be true, and unfortunately, in this case, it is.
The sensational story about a drunk Marine in San Diego, which first showed up on Imgur a few days ago, quickly went viral, but unfortunately it just is not true, the San Diego Tribune reports.
“I called police records, and while they were highly entertained, they confirmed [the story] is absolutely a hoax,” said 1st. Lt. Savannah Frank, a public affairs officer at Camp Pendleton.
The fake police report describes a man who had a few too many drinks at the bar but still wanted to drive, according to the Telegraph. Unfortunately, his car was equipped with a breathalyzer, which he needed to blow into to start the car. The man was too drunk to pass the test, so he somehow wrangled a nearby raccoon who was sifting through the trash can in a local park and "utilized" it to blow into the breathalyzer, the report said.
The raccoon supposedly fell unconscious, since the man squeezed it too hard, and he tossed it aside and started driving. Soon after, the raccoon woke up on the floor of the man's car and attacked the inebriated man while he was driving. Naturally, he did not stop and crashed into a fence during the attack.
"The vehicle came to a complete stop in an inground swimming pool," the fabricated report said.
In the story, the Marine was charged with abuse of a public animal and drunken or reckless driving.
Even worse, the man lost a fight to a raccoon that left him in terrible shape.
"The suspect sustained numerous scratches and bite marks to the hands, face, stomach, and arms," said the report.
Frank told the San Diego Tribune that the official incident number in the post gave it away as a fake, since Camp Pendleton uses a different number system for their police records.
Officials searched through the incident logs, just to be sure. As expected, they sadly found no incidents where a wild animal blew into a breathalyzer for a drunk Marine.