Well, "National Go Topless Day" has come and gone. And the gates of hell did not open, the ice-caps did not melt (yet), the western world did not freeze over. We are all still standing.
Events, organized by a nutty UFO group called the "Raelian Movement," were held in nine cities all over the country on Sunday. Topless women marched for the right to be topless in public, like their male counterparts. As the Raelians write:
"Life on Earth was created by advanced extraterrestrial scientists. These scientists, both male and female, used their mastery of genetic engineering to create humans in their own image (breasts included!)."
Anyway, in San Francisco, the event attracted just eight topless women. They were outnumbered by 14 men wearing bikinis or nipple tape, to show solidarity with their naked female friends.
"If we're supposed to be equal across the board, then women should be allowed to show their breasts," bustier-wearing protester Michael Staley told the San Francisco Chronicle. "Why can't they? Men can, women should, period."
Fellow protester Angela Oliver agreed.
"We should be able to do everything that men can, and I like my boobs and I like being naked, so here I am," she said. "I don't feel like I'm being sexual right now by being topless. It's completely natural."
The numbers were greater down on the boardwalk of Los Angeles' Venice Beach. 200 people marched, including two dozen topless ladies. The Los Angeles Times reports they all wore red tape, Band-Aids or other makeshift pasties over their nipples to comply with local nudity laws. Police were standing by, but no arrests were made.
Protesters carried signs reading, "Free your breasts! Free your mind!" and "Demand topless equality."
"If we are not allowed, men must be forced to hide their chests on the basis of gender equality," said organizer Nadine Gary.
About 50 men complied, putting on very unattractive red bikinis. One man took his off while he was marching. When Gary asked why, he told her it was itchy. "Now I know how you feel," she replied.