You probably read how third-ranked competitive eater Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi was forcibly removed from this year's Coney Island Fourth of July hot dog–eating contest after crashing the stage at the close of the event.
Kobayashi didn't compete in the contest, having refused to sign a contract with Major League Eating (I'm not making this up) because "he wanted to be free to compete in contests sanctioned by other groups."
Well, then, Tsunami-san, why not take the Veggie Dog Hall of Fame Challenge at Corner Bar in Rockford, Michigan? You'd not only prove your independence, you'd also save yourself from the potential health problems associated with eating gluttonous amounts of meat.
Not that we advocate overeating, but given how other contests mean that herds of cows are killed and eaten just so that they can be thrown up later, Corner Bar's contest has earned the restaurant PETA's first-ever "Animal-Friendly Eating Competition Award."
Maybe we'll see the start of a whole new veggie-eating circuit! You don't even have to stuff yourself silly—ready to sign up?
Posted by Jeff Mackey