Russian Official Declares Country "Not Capable Of" Fighting Extraterrestrials


Russia is prepared for a War of the Worlds-style attack, but not fully prepared. While the country established Aerospace Defense Troops in 1992, shortly after the fall of the Soviet Union, those forces are “not capable of” fighting aliens, should an attack occur. 

The admission of Russia’s inability to defend themselves against alien invaders came during a press conference at the Titov Main Test and Space Systems Control Center near Moscow, Russia. A journalist proposed the (possibly serious?) question to the center’s deputy chief Sergey Berezhnoy, who responded with a (possibly serious?) answer. 

“So far we are not capable of that. We are unfortunately not ready to fihgt extraterrestrial civilizations. Our center was not tasked with it. There are too many problems on Earth and near it,” Berezhnoy said in response to the question.

Still, Russia does maintain a space-oriented branch of its military. The Aerospace Defense Troops have a wide variety of tasks, including “anti-missile defense, strategic anti-aircraft warfare and control of outer space." Although the country may not have full-scale Star Wars-style fleets ready to be deployed to outer space, they certainly seem much more prepared militarily than the United States, should an extraterrestrial invasion occur. Russia’s unique military branch is also prepared to defend against things such as astroids falling to Earth, which at this point pose more of a threat than any gray beings. 

Perhaps the United States will leave it to private companies such as SpaceX, which recently had a successful test launch of a rocket off the coast of California, to defend earth from invaders. 

In other news, the film adaptation of Ender’s Game is coming out soon. Maybe the Russians should study up. 


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