When British entrepreneur Simon Buckhaven invented an electric gizmo that kills lobsters and crabs “more humanely” than the traditional method of dispatching the creatures—in a pot of boiling water—no one was surprised to see People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) jump on the bandwagon. But the “CrustaStun,” which looks a bit like a lobster photocopier, may be one contraption the animal liberation nuts wish they’d never heard of.
Last weekend, PETA arranged for a CrustaStun to be sent to a Tucson fundraiser for Child & Family Resources. The charity has prepared its “Lobster Landing” dinners the old fashioned way for years, but PETA hoped to usher in a new era of electrocution—presumably so they could protest the eventnext year with “Don’t Taze Me” posters and a comically demonic “Electric Chair Louie” mascot.
PETA’s crustacean triumph didn’t exactly go as planned. Here’s how Halifax, Nova Scotia’s Chronicle Herald described the eventual dispatching of 1,800 lobsters:
Unfortunately, the courier service lost the two machines and the animal rights people had to look the other way as volunteers killed hundreds of lobster in boiling water for hungry supporters of the resource centre.
We’re left to wonder why, once the boiling started, the PETA activists didn’t make their point by tossing a few toasters and hair dryers in the water. Or inviting a “euthanasia technician” from PETA headquarters to make a deliciously efficient job of it.
Next year, we recommend lethal injection. With drawn butter.