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Forget 30 Rock, Alec Baldwin's HuffPo Columns are Truly Funny

By Nick Gillespie

Alec Baldwin is a great
actor ("Hit
the bricks, pal
"). And his greatest creation may be the
"Alec Baldwin" character who writes columns for the Huffington Post, the
can't-take-our-eyes-off-it celebrity-driven car wreck of a site
that generates more tears on a daily basis than the
post-Katrina Super Dome. Submitted for your approval from
Baldwin's latest print equivalent of a petit mal seizure:

Recruitment is down. This Pentagon has a shortage of willing
and competent soldiers who can run our military machinery. So
what do they do? Do they improve recruitment, training and pay
for soldiers? No. They privatize as much of these duties as
they can (with no bid contracts for staggering sums of money)
and create new businesses that, in turn, will contribute to
those that helped them.

The health care industry wastes untold billions, then passes
those costs on to insurance companies who then exploit your
fear and pass them on to you. Fear of Al Qaeda. Fear of getting
sick without insurance and, therefore, access to effective
medical care. Keep everything the way it is, out of fear. Fear
that it could get worse. That's the Republican way. These guys
have this country coming and going.

You'd think that the GOP was almost running this country,
wouldn't you? Let's skip for the moment that the past year was
the first since the (thank
!) return to an all-volunteer force in the early 1970s
that the
military actually hit its recruitment goals
. Am I the only
one not going the Humana newsletters explaining that premiums are
going up because Osama bin Laden is threatening to steal my
kidneys? I've got no use for Republicans (especially the way they
created the entirely pork-ridden Medicare prescription drug
benefit for the wealthiest demographic in the country), but
the day that Alec Baldwin signs up for the public option is the
day I start believing that he really thinks government will do
things more cheaply and efficiently than an actual market in
health care.

But the real gems in Baldwin's HuffPo cols sparkle in headlines
(e.g., May 17's "The
Rise and Fall of Detroit
," which was followed by May 20's
Apology Regarding My Letterman Appearance and a Clarification on
U.S. Autoworkers
") and the great personal attacks such as
this one against CNN's newsmummy Jack Cafferty:

Jack, you don't tell people that a career in the performing
arts disqualifies them from seeking elected office, and I won't
say publicly that your being convicted of leaving the scene of
an accident in which you struck a cyclist and then ran two red
lights while you were pursued by the police and were
subsequently ordered to serve 70 hours of community service
back in May of 2003 disqualifies you from posing as a "Man of
the People" on a major cable news network.

Read that
whole piece here


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