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Shocked By Groom's 'Hairy Cucumber,' Bride Attacks Him

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A virgin bride reportedly assaulted her new husband on their honeymoon after seeing his penis for the first time.

The couple decided to abstain from sexual intercourse until after they wed. That meant the bride had never seen her groom’s private parts and had no idea what was in store for her.

Mnombo Madyibi, 32, ended up with a head wound after his wife described his penis as a “hairy, scary cucumber.”

“All was well and she enjoyed the foreplay,” Madyibi told the Daily Star. “But all hell broke loose the moment I took off my underwear. Before I knew it, she knocked me over with a bottle of wine before attempting to suffocate me with a red and white teddy bear I'd bought her as a gift.”

She allegedly bit his ear and squeezed his testicles in shock and fear. The screams woke up other guests at the bed and breakfast the couple were staying at in Coffee Bay, South Africa.  

The couple ended up leaving in different buses.

“He has a big penis -- long like a cucumber and hairy and scary like a bush,” says the woman. But she claims, “I only slapped him on the cheek.”

Madyibi is nicknamed “Anaconda” by his soccer teammates who’ve seen his penis in the locker room, according to the Daily Mail.

The amateur soccer player says, “I've only heard of penis enlargement and not penis shrinking.”

“I think she's angry because I could only afford a cheaper honeymoon instead of the one she wished for in Zanzibar,” Madyibi said.

The couple met at church last year and vowed to stay celibate until their wedding night. No charges were filed and the pair have decided to seek counseling rather than getting authorities involved.

Sources: Daily Mail, Daily Star / Photo credit: Daily Star

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