Skip to main content

A response to "Sex on the First Date: Go For it" and the comments that followed...

In my previous article "Sex on the First Date: Go For it," I argued for relationships to be seen from a different perspective. Conventional wisdom says "wait," or follow some "rules" regarding when to have sex, and when not to have sex.

While I am a male, it is obvious that "my gender biased article" was followed up by "gender biased comments." What do I mean, you ask? What I mean is that "women make love, then have sex." What about women who simply have sex for pleasure? So you are following up my supposed use of stereotypes with stereotypes of your own. Also, there is a whole discussion of celibacy, religious reasons not to have sex, etc...If a woman wrote the same article I wrote, men would be saying all kinds of things like "wow that woman really does think outside the box." "She isn't using conventional wisdom etc..." She is "arguing a guy's perspective." Those are the types of comments that would be made.

My use of the terms "slut" and "stud" had nothing to do with calling the people mentioned in this possible situation either term, but rather abandoning the terminology, and if the opportunity presents itself, why not go for it and have sex? I do not advocate any type of non-consensual sex. Whoever said that is out of line. I simply raised the question, would a relationship be better with sex first?

The answer to that question, in some circumstances is "yes." There are some relationships that form from instense physical attraction to one another.

As to my advice, and the quality of my advice, I help single men and single women find the relationship or date they truly desire. I find out what it is individuals want and then help guide them to where they want to get. Some clients I work with want to go on more dates. Some clients I work with want to have more sex. Some clients I work with want to take their relationship to the next level. Whatever it is my clients want from dating and relationships, I help them maximize their personal dating and relationships goals. One must realize that people have different relationship goals, different likes and dislikes. Precisely, this means that my own dating and relationship philosophy may run counter to the argument I made. I was simply asking a legitimate question. People are free to agree with the point of view argued, or disagree. Differing viewpoints are what makes intellectual debate strong.

The purpose of this article was to pose a legitimate question: Should people have sex on the first date? That defies "conventional wisdom," but it is a legitimate question to ask. Especially with this evidence:

Yes you heard right, 1 in 3 online female daters are having sex on the first date. And since a minimum of 1 out of 4 relationships are formed from online dating websites, (perhaps as much as 40-45% and growing each year), this is certainly a legitimate question for me to ask in my article.

Obviously people are interested in sex, and sex when it comes to dating. There are plenty of people having sex, meeting from casual bar meetings and one night stands. Please weigh in on whether my question is merit based or not, but the bottom line is dating, and sex when it comes to dating and relationships will always be a topic of heated discussion regardless of the viewpoint one holds.


Popular Video