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Bill Maher

11Bill O’Reilly: ‘I’m Not Comparing Myself’ But People Hated Jesus Too

Fox News host Bill O’Reilly told the Washington Post that he’s “not comparing” himself to Jesus Christ, but many people hated him as well.

In an interview with Sally Quinn, he claimed “O’Reilly haters” would never read his latest book, “Killing Jesus.”

“The O’Reilly haters are pretty much the people that have no idea what I do,” he said. “And I like that — I mean, I don’t have any problem with people disliking me, and I’ll tell you why. I’m not comparing myself, but who was the most hated person in Judea 2,000 years ago?"

“Many, many loved him, but just as many despised him,” he continued. “They’re always going to do that. If you speak your mind, you’re going to have some who like you and some who hate you.”

“You say you’re the biggest sinner of all. What are your sins?” Quinn asked.

“Everything … I’m not going to tell you, Sally Quinn, what my sins are. But I’m certainly fallible and I don’t put myself up as any paragon of virtue,” he said.

“Why do you think that there is so much sneering and ridicule toward religion by people who don’t believe?” she asked.

“Because they don’t want to be judged,” O’Reilly said. “They believe that religious people are judging their behavior, and they don’t want to be judged. They want to do what they want."

He argued that “secular progressives” don’t like religion because they’re sinners who don't want to be judged.

“Take a guy like Bill Maher. He’s probably the most visible atheist in the American media," he added. "Well, Bill Maher does not want to be told what to do. He wants to do whatever he wants. And if it’s take drugs, he wants to be able to do that. If it’s commit adultery, he wants to be able to do that. Whatever it may be, he doesn’t want anybody telling him not to. And the people that would do that would be religious people, so he strikes out against them.”

He told Quinn he's never had a "crisis of faith" because he keeps his life simple.

“Whom do you admire?” Quinn asked.

“I admire people who are making $40,000 a year and living an honest life. Life is hard. I don’t like phonies. I don’t like liars. I don’t like narcissists. I like the regular folks,” he said.

The host of the “O’Reilly Factor” was one of the top-paid authors of 2013, taking home $28 million, according to Forbes. He upset his new neighbors on Long Island’s East End this year for buying a 1940s cottage on the ocean worth $7.6 million and immediately tearing it down.

Sources: Washington Post, Mediaite


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11Bill Maher: Republican Voters Are ‘Corporate America’s Useful Idiots’ (Video)

In an interview with NBC News this past Sunday, Bill Maher said that GOP voters are “just corporate America’s useful idiots."

"I understand why the one percent — the richest one percent — vote Republican,” the liberal comedian told Harry Smith on "Meet the Press.”

“They deserve those votes. You know what, they represent the richest one percent perfectly," he added. "Anybody else who does? Just corporate America’s useful idiots."

“Who are you most displeased with these days, Republicans or Democrats?” Smith asked.

“Oh, come on. Really? Seriously? Republicans,” Maher said. “In the last 20 years, it’s not really been a choice. They just drove the short bus to crazy town.”

Smith asked Maher how his comedy tour goes over in red states.

“Better than blue states even,” Maher said. “But there is an extra added excitement in a red state, in places where people don’t often see someone like me. There is not a place in America so red that I can’t get 3,000 screaming atheists to come see me — on a Sunday.”

“What’s wrong with us?” Smith asked, referring to Americans.

“Well, gosh, where to begin?” Maher responded. “Well, first of all we’re not very well informed. I mean, the political process; people used to take civics and they at least knew how the country worked.

“We have become a county where science is pooh-poohed,” he continued. “It’s another one of those things that has somehow become politicized. People never used to argue that much about science. We might argue about how we take these facts … but we didn’t argue about the facts themselves. That’s not true anymore.”

Sources: Mediaite, Talking Points Memo


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11God is ‘Psychotic Mass Murderer’ Who ‘Drowns Babies’ Says Bill Maher (Video)

During his "Real Time With Bill Maher" HBO show on Friday, the acidic host skewered Christians who are upset with the new film "Noah" and God for deaths caused by the great flood.

Maher said 60 percent of Americans believe the story is true, even though Noah was 500 years old when he built the ark with his "100-year-old sons" and filled it with 3 million species of animals that "just happened to be nearby."

“[Christians are] mad that this made-up story doesn’t stay true to their made-up story,” said Maher, noted Mediaite.com (video below).

Maher then took aim at a “psychotic mass murderer who gets away with" deaths caused by the flood.

“But the thing that’s really disturbing about Noah isn’t the silly, it’s that it’s immoral. It’s about a psychotic mass murderer who gets away with it, and his name is God,” added Maher. “What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he’s mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.”

According to The Washington Times, Maher continued: “Hey God, you know you’re kind of a [expletive] when you’re in a movie with Russell Crowe and you’re the one with anger issues... Conservatives are always going on about how Americans are losing their values and their morality, well maybe it’s because you worship a guy who drowns babies.”

“I’m reminded as we’ve just started lent, that conservatives are always complaining about too much restraining regulation and how they love freedom, but they’re the religious ones who voluntarily invent restrictions for themselves,” stated Maher.

Sources: The Washington Times and Mediaite.com


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11Bill Nye Says Creationism, Climate Change Denial Makes Kids 'Scientifically Illiterate' (Video)

Planetary Society CEO Bill Nye told “Real Time With Bill Maher” that his biggest concern about creationism and climate change denial is what children are being taught in school.

Having recently debated Creationist Museum president Ken Ham, Nye says he worries future generations will be “scientifically illiterate.”

Nye says if that happens "we're not going to have the next iPhone, we're not going to have the next innovation."

“Mr. Ham and the grown-ups, they can do what they want, but my concern is for the students, for the kids in the commonwealth of Kentucky [where the museum is located] … that are brought up with this,” Nye told Maher on Friday. “Then they’re taught, ‘Oh yes, people are going to oppose you as you grow up’ … because they are wrong and unsupportable.”

During the evolution debate, Ham said, "I believe the word 'science' has been hijacked by secularists.”

"If we accept Mr. Ham's point of view ... that the Bible serves as a science text and he and his followers will interpret that for you, I want you to consider what that means," Nye argued. "It means that Mr. Ham's word is to be more respected than what you can observe in nature, what you can find in your backyard in Kentucky."

“I think what was difficult for me was not slapping my forehead, not freaking out,” Nye told Maher about the debate.

“And that’s good because I agree that we do have to engage people,” Maher said. “My great friend Richard Dawkins says, ‘No, ignore them,’ and I say ‘Not as long as they are a majority – you still have to engage.”

“Or a significant fraction,” Nye agree.

“If people believe the world is 6,000 years old, I don’t know if that hurts us. You know what does hurt us?” Maher asked. “People who don’t think climate change is real.”

“People like Ted Cruz – his big joke now is whenever it snows, you know, ‘Al Gore told me this wouldn’t happen,’” Maher said, adding that temperature and weather are completely differently things.

Maher said people who don't believe in evolution are threatened by being compared to an ape.

"Okay, we give that to you. You are different than an ape," Maher said.

"Somewhat different, yeah," quipped Nye.

Sources: Mediaite, Politico


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11Bill Maher Says Conservatives Should Plan Mass Shooting At Country Music Awards (Video)

Bill Maher says that conservatives need to match the liberal spectacle of the mass gay wedding held at the Grammy Awards this year by holding a mass shooting.

“Now that liberals have forwarded their agenda by inserting a mass gay wedding into the Grammys, conservatives must match them tit-for-tat by having a mass shooting at the Country Music Awards,” Maher said during his New Rule segment on “Real Time with Bill Maher” Friday.

Last Sunday, 33 couples were wed by rapper-talk show host Queen Latifah, who was deputized by Los Angeles County to legally conduct the ceremonies. Macklemore, Ryan Lewis and Madonna sang during the performance.

"The right-wing conservatives think it's a decision/And you can be cured with some treatment and religion/Man-made rewiring of a predisposition," Macklemore rapped. "Playing God, aw nah here we go/America the brave still fears what we don't know/And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten/But we paraphrase a book written 3500 years ago."

Another new rule, Maher announced, is that Puritanism must go.

“If polls show we now live in an America that can accept gay marriage and legal marijuana it’s time we knocked over the next social domino: Puritanism. Especially as it pertains to our elected leaders. Let’s stop being a nation of grade-school prudes about adult consensual sex and accept the fact that politicians aren’t boy scouts, that’s just a costume they wear on grinder.”

Sources: MediaiteFox News


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11Bill Maher: When Did Christian Values Become 'F**k Off And Die'? (Video)

HBO host Bill Maher wants to know when Christian values changed from “love thy neighbor” to the philosophy of “f**k off and die.”

On Friday night’s episode of “Real Time With Bill Maher,” Maher said there are Christians who claim they would do anything to help the needy, if only it wouldn't lead to a "culture of dependency."

“New rule: It’s okay if you don’t want to feed the hungry or heal the sick or house the homeless. Just don’t say you’re doing it for their own good,” he said showing an image of Congressional Republicans.

“Don’t say you’d like to help but your hands are tied,” he continued, “because if you did, it would cause a culture of dependency or go against the Bible or — worst of all — rob them of their freedom to be sick and hungry.”

“Just admit you’re selfish,” he said, “and based on how little your beliefs mirror the actual teachings of Jesus you might as well claim to worship Despicable Me.”

He devoted the segment to the religious right because food stamp cuts went into affect this week and Tennessee Rep. Stephen Fincher, R-Frog Jump, justified the cuts by quoting the Bible.

“'The one who does not work, shall not eat,’” Maher quoted.

Fincher, who has received millions in farm subsidies, said the Supplemental Nutrition Assistant Program must be cut over too much waste and abuse.

The passage Fincher quoted, “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat,” was referring to Christians who halted work in anticipation of the Second Coming of Christ, not because they were lazy.

“It reminded me,” Maher said, “that I keep seeing stories in the new of Christians stiffing servers in restaurants.”

He cited an Applebee’s server in Missouri who received a note on a check from a church pastor that read, “I give God 10 percent. Why do you get 18?”

“This is what Jesus would do?” Maher asked. “I doubt it. I think what Jesus would do is move the hell out that part of Missouri.”

Another server in Kansas was left no tip. He received a note from the table of Christians that said they couldn’t tip him because his “homosexual lifestyle is an affront to God.”

“I would just like to point out,” Maher said, “that not tipping your gay waiter will not make him put his penis in a woman. It will make him put his penis is your pasta primavera.”

He said there are fake $10 bills being left on tables in lieu of tips in the Bible Belt that say on the back, “Some things are better than money. Like your eternal salvation that was bought and paid for by Jesus going to the cross.”

He said GOP Congressmen and other nominal Christians in the U.S. live by the code: “I believe in charity, just not for people who need it.”

“Yes,” he said, “there’s always a good moral Christian way to tell everyone you meet to f**k off and die.”

Warning: The following video contains graphic language. Viewer discretion is advised.

Sources: Raw StoryMediaite


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11Maher Tells The GOP: Stop Pandering To Hunters, Start Pandering To Stoners (Video)

Bill Maher offered a tip to Republicans on his HBO show “Real Time with Bill Maher” Friday night, telling them that if they really want to reach millennials they need to put down the guns and pick up a joint.

During his “New Rule” segment, Maher showed a picture of Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, hunting for pheasant in Iowa with Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa.

“Someone has to tell me how a guy as useless and hateful as Ted Cruz can perform an act as pointless and cruel as hunting and still look like he’s faking it,” he said.

Cruz and King posed for a number of photos during the trip with their rifles slung over their shoulders.

“If he’s not digging this who is it for?” Maher asked.

“And why, Ted? Why?” he continued. “You’ve already proved your total dominion over creatures with brains the size of walnuts. After all, you’re the leader of the Tea Party!”

“I had the same reaction to John Kerry in this get-up as I did to Ted Cruz, and that reaction was ‘What a Dick’,” he said. “Like many Americans this picture makes me less likely to vote for you.”

Hunting isn’t popular, Maher said.

“Only six percent of Americans now hunt,” he pointed out.

Maher said the GOP will fail to reach young Americans, women, and Hispanics, if they keep taking publicity pictures with rifles.

“Hunting is not really the way to do it,” he said. “Millennialis do not want to get up at 4 a.m. to sit and wait for a moose to walk by. If they want to kill something, there’s an Xbox right downstairs.”

“If conservatives want to broaden their based,” he concluded, “they shouldn’t be pandering to hunters. They should be pandering to stoners.”

According to a Gallup poll released in October, approval of marijuana is the highest it has ever been in the U.S. with 58 percent of Americans supporting legalization.

“The new American voter isn’t some old coot shooting at some food, it’s a young Latino lesbian who smoked a boatload of dope,” Maher said.

“If Republicans want to pass the torch to the next generation, they need to pass the torch to the next generation,” he quipped.

Sources: Mediaite, Daily Kos


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11Bill Maher Explains How Women Are The Reason Obamacare Won't Fail (Video)

Bill Maher says that despite all the web glitches and political conflict, women will ensure that Obamacare doesn’t fail.

The HBO host appeared on CNN’s “Piers Morgan Live” on Tuesday explaining that the health rollout’s bumpy start is no indicator of how successful it will be.

“Every program of this size was a headache at first,” Maher said. “So was [George W.] Bush’s Medicare prescription drug program for the old folks. Remember, ‘Hey, free Viagra, have a boner on George Bush — remember me at the polls.’ Social security, Medicare — all these programs have these kind problems when you start with them.”

“But the reason why it’s going to work is women,” he added.

Maher said women, who are “smarter” than men about their health, require annual pelvic exams in order to receive contraception as well as breast exams to screen for cancer.

“Yes, young men do not want to sign up because they think they’re invincible,” he conceded. “Women get it because women are a little more complicated. You know, they want contraception, they want breast exams [and] they’re a little smarter about that, too. They don’t think they’re invincible.”

He said the GOP is distorting the popularity of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

“Even with all the problems, in four polls last week, Obamacare is more popular than ever,” Maher said. “Republicans like to cite this statistic that something like 54 percent of the people are against Obamacare. It’s very, very misleading. That includes the 16 percent of people who think it doesn’t go far enough.”

He said something this important will “of course” be popular.

“It’s a life and death issue, and again, it was there, it was created because people were dying and the country was going broke,” Maher said. “It was going to be a rocky birth, but it’s not going to fail.”

Sources: Raw Story, CNN


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11From Getting Microchipped To Death Panels: Bill Maher Proves New Yorkers Don't Understand Obamacare (Video)

For a segment on his HBO show, Bill Maher sent documentary fillmaker Alexandra Pelosi to ask New Yorkers what they understand about Obamacare.

It turns out, Maher said, it’s very difficult “to keep the American public informed.”

“Nobody really knows what it is,” one man told Pelosi, “because it’s named after him they’re not gonna like it.”

Many appeared to think President Barack Obama named the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act after himself.

“The worst thing about Obamacare,” another man said, “is the first name: Obama. Why did he name it after himself?”

Two people surveyed actually believe that Obamacare means everyone is going to be microchipped.

A woman said the government would insert a chip “under her skin” and when “you’re going to go the doctors and they’re going to scan it like a credit card.”

“You’re standing here in the center of the media universe,” said Pelosi, “and you’re telling me Obamacare is going to put a chip in your body?”

“I don’t know how you don’t know about it, but it’s in all the news,” the woman responded.

One man said he thought Muslims were exempt from Obamacare and another said all "illegal aliens" will be given healthcare. Several said death panels will now decide who lives and dies.

“I’m hearing that they’re trying to take $80 a week out of people’s check,” said another man.

Warning: The following video contains graphic language and viewer discretion is advised.


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11Bill Maher: California’s Economy Is Booming Because Here NRA Stands For 'Nuts, Racists, And A**holes' (Video)

Bill Maher: California’s Economy Is Booming Because Here NRA Stands For “Nuts, Racists, And *ssholes” (Video)

HBO host Bill Maher says California’s economy is booming because there’s no Tea Party and no GOP “legislative cockblock.” On “On Real Time with Bill Maher” Friday, Maher claimed California will single-handedly drag the rest of America kicking and screaming into the present.

“New rule,” Maher said, “Conservatives who love to brag about American exceptionalism must come here to California and see it in person. And then they should be afraid. Because while right-wingers are taking over places like North Carolina and Texas and even Wisconsin, California is creating the kind of modern, liberal nation the country as a whole can only dream about.”

“And not only can’t the rest of the country stop us, we’re going to drag you with us,” he added.

“Here in California,” he said, “we’re not just gluten-free and peanut-free and soy-free, we’re tea party-free! Yes, we can live in reality!”

Maher said it’s in California’s nature to try new things.

He said places like Texas “like freedom a little too much, like when that unregulated fertilizer plant blew up.”

He said the two things conservative often tout, the free market and states rights, are the two things that will ultimately “bend the country in California’s image as a socialist fagtopia.”

“Maybe our constipated Congress in Washington can’t pass gun control laws.”

He said that’s because California doesn’t care about the NRA. “Out here NRA stands for ‘nuts, racists, and assholes.’”

He said while other states are “working with Jesus to make abortion more miserable,” California is making it easier.

“And while immigrants are demonized in Washington and elsewhere, in California we just ok’d driver’s licenses for undocumented aliens. That’s right,” he said, “we’re letting them drive cars just like white people.”

Maher concluded, “We can’t be worrying about the nonsense that keeps Fox News viewers up at night.”

Warning: The following video contains graphic language and viewer discretion is advised.

Sources: Raw Story, Mediaite


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