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Is Spanking an Acceptable Form of Discipline?

DeepDiveAdmin's picture

You have probably heard the expression, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Do you agree with it? Perhaps you were spanked as a kid. Was it appropriate? Some people see spanking as an outdated method of punishment or even child abuse, while others view a swat on the bottom as a parent's prerogative. Where do we draw the line when it comes to disciplining our children?

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stillthinking's picture

Why Spank?

Punishment serves to protect and guide an individual. Children are not able to grow into responsible contributing members of society without guidance. Punishment should be on a graduated scale - the larger the negative impact of the action on the child, or others, the more severe the punishment, or consequence must be. Spanking should never be done in anger, or out of frustration. That it is used as the ultimate in the severity of a consequence is appropriate. In a society that currently dismisses every form of punishment as being harmful to the child (time outs lead to abandonment issues, yelling to self esteem issues, groundings to confinement issues, spanking to inappropriate touch issues), how does society expect to be able to continue if parents are not able to teach the confines of social acceptance? To not discipline a child is in itself, abusive - what happens when that child becomes an adult and is treated and expected to treat others when no one has been taught the benefits and downfalls of living (or not) within the rules of society? Spanking for a reason and within reason are certainly acceptable.

Katherine Rickett's picture

Interesting research

The issue of spanking will never been settled. I found it very interesting that Isreal outlawed the practice of corporal punishmet to children in 2000. A very good website is www.Gracethrufaith.com this explains the history of spanking and where it came into practice in the modern world. I encourage everyone to do their own research.

b.t.easthampton's picture

Absolutely

The quasi professionals from the fields of psychology and psychiatry have had fifty plus years to brainwash and convince people that spanking children is bad. Take a look at what has happend to society in that same time span and tell me with a straight face that they were right. I will acknowledge that there are children who get abused, though, when parents take a responsible stance on when to use and not to use spanking as a form of punishment it shoould be left to their perogative and the children of the vast majority of those parents are not being abused. I was raised by a single mother who was loving and caring towards all three of her children. Having said that, she did not hesitate to dish out spankings when the situation warrented. All three of us are successful and reponsible citizens and in no way that I can ascertain are we stunted in any way. I can tell you that I remember a lilttle more than five times being spanked "for real" in my life and if my children, of which I have two boys, ever do the things that I did to get those spankings, they also will be spanked. Children today are growing up with no fear of consequence, because they know that when it comes down to it there realy are no consequences. "What are you gonna do? Put me in Time Out?" Fear and avoidance of pain are natural survival instincts ingrained into each of us through thousands upon thousands of years of evolution, it seems silly to me that we as a society aught not to take advantage of these time proven instincts in training our offspring how to be responsible law abiding citizens. Having said that I can already hear those of you saying how can you advocate for causing pain to your children, let me be clear that this isn't what I am saying. In order for a spanking to be effective it also has to be memorable and a little bit of force is neccessary. A punishment by definition should cause those being punished to suffer, what suffer is caused by standing in the corner out sitting on a time out chair? While in school I was classmates with several kids whose parents were psych professionals who used the nonspanking method of raising them and I have to say that thos kids turned into some of the most self-centered, self impportant, intolerant and ill-mannered people I have known. Ultimately I think people should really mind their business and leave parenting styles up to the parents.

joannalanders's picture

Sometimes Spankings are Necessary

I know its not politically correct anymore to support spanking as a means of discipline for raising children. Well, politically correct or not, there are just some situations where it is the thing to do. I was a divorced mother raising two sons and a daughter. There were situations with my sons where I felt I had to take very strong action.

My oldest son was about ten when he and a friend violated a rule I had about playing with matches. They managed to set a weed field on fire. They could easily have been seriously burned. In that situation I just didn't feel grounding or taking away privileges were good options. I didn't use a belt or an object. I did pull his pants down, bend him over my knee, and gave him about a dozen slaps on his bare butt with the palm of my hand. That caused a few tears to flow and was enough to send him the message that I wouldn't tolerate him playing with matches.

My other son took a spray paint can once with a friend and sprayed over some windows in a business that had closed down. I had to deal with the police over that. Part of his punishment included doing community service to pay for the windows. However, the other part was a spanking in his underwear. I think I did use a belt--carefully--that time.

I don't think my three kids were spanked a total of ten times. However, those times were all important and all sent a big message that they had behaved unacceptably.

My children are grown up now and all are responsible citizens. I guess I did something right :)

stockholm25's picture

spanking

im 25 now but remember as a girl been hand spanked across my moms lap,not hard but fast-spanked fully clothed,it learnt me 2 behave when i was young,spankin was scary? but it worked!!,i couldent myself thou?

Mino's picture

Might Makes Right?:

People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, college students, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.

For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the sex organs, anal region, and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net

Child bottom-slapping/battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child bottom-slapping/battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping/battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
http://nospank.net/taylor.htm

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping/battering isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.

In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.

There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-slapping/battering instills virtue.

Mino's picture

Only suitable for minors?:

Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf

Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
(WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).
http://nospank.net/prj-006.wav

Mino's picture

Only suitable for minors?:

Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf

Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
(WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).
http://nospank.net/prj-006.wav

MarkBryan's picture

No

,but spoiling is not a good way to reward them either.
Done properly at school I was most impressed with a paddling I once received
Didn't skip school again (that school) lol

That was then, this is now. Violence begets Violence.
Children are injured physically and mentally.
Hindsight's 20/20 .

fivefivesix's picture

Beating and hitting ≠ discipline

I am always left curious of people who have not raised children yet have authoritative opinions on rearing them. Often they produce opinions like "children never lie" or, "you should never spank a child, beating them just teaches them to hit" which is clever way to base an argument on ignorance.

Are there parents that hit, beat starve, drown, sell, burn or kill their children? sure there are, we read about them every day, but associating parents that love and discipline their children with those that abuse their kids actually angers me.

My son gets a spanking, some times once every few months, some times several times in a week, it all depends on his behavior. Early on, he would get a spanking for things like running into the street, when I tell him to stop running, he needs to stop running his life may be at stake. Now that he is 5, he's got not running into the street down, about the the only time he gets a spanking is when he refuses to go into time out. It is a teaching tool, and as such, a good parent does not allow there to be an opportunity for disobedience when a child is incapable of making a good decision. For instance, if my child is too tired from a long day, or all sugared out from a birthday party, rather than tell him to go to the car, I will pick him up and carry him

my one rule is that: I will NEVER spank him when I am angry. It's a fairly simple rule to keep, my kids are the joy of my life and even when they are being difficult, I still love them and am blessed to have them in my life

jill897's picture

Spanking is NOT abuse

Spanking a child is perfectly fine. I am the youngest child in a family of 8. We were all spanked as children. And guess what? We are all close to our parents. We do not hate or resent them. We are not and were never afraid of them. We were not scarred for life by a few slaps on the bottom. None of us have ever committed any act of violence against another human being.

The problem today, with this modern "spanking is abuse" BS, can clearly be seen in today's children: spoiled little brats who don't listen to their parents, have no respect for adults, running through stores, screaming, yelling, whining, being diagnosed with "ADD" when all they really need is a good smack.

I will say that there are some children who are naturally obedient and respectful, rarely misbehaving, who for the most part don't need to be spanked. It depends on the child's personality; however, the majority of children are not all sweetness and do need a spank from time to time.

There is a major difference between spanking and abuse: some slaps on the rump versus some punches to the face.

Mino's picture

A little bit of violence is not ok

"The most positive social changes around the world
have followed mass improvements in the way
children are treated."
Robin Grille, author of Parenting for a
Peaceful World, 2005.

"If we really want a peaceful and compassionate
world, we need to build communities of trust where
all children are respected, where home and school are
safe places to be and where discipline is taught by
example."
Desmond M. Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus,
Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punish
ment of Children, 2006.

Mino's picture

A little bit of violence is not

"The most positive social changes around the world
have followed mass improvements in the way
children are treated."
Robin Grille, author of Parenting for a
Peaceful World, 2005.

"If we really want a peaceful and compassionate
world, we need to build communities of trust where
all children are respected, where home and school are
safe places to be and where discipline is taught by
example."
Desmond M. Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus,
Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punish
ment of Children, 2006.

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://nospank.net/pt2010.pdf

Mino's picture

Hitting/child buttock-battering vs DISCIPLINE

People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.

For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the sex organs, and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net .

Hitting/ child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled " spanking ","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

emmanuelgoldstein's picture

Violence can be used to stop violence

You should try reason, logic, even trickery first, but if the child insists on acting in a way that is harmful to themselves or others, a quick, light smack upside the back of the head can snap them out of their reality tunnel. If your child comes home late, or tells you no, that does not deserve a hit. If your child attacks another person, an animal, or is being destructive, a smack or a spank can make them see that violence isn't good.

My stepfather beat me. This wasn't discipline as much as his issues, though it did keep me in line (If he didn't die on his own I would have killed him myself).
My father only ever hit me twice. Once when I was very young and rode my big wheel into the street, and once much later on when I yelled at him that I hated him. both times had a beneficial impact, and I realized my error immediately..

PDeverit's picture

Law and order through history

People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.

For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can use the resources I've posted if they want to learn more.

Aria's picture

It's not a clear yes or no

If all other forms of punishments fail, such as grounding (which some people consider abuse ), taking away a toy or privilege, making a child write a hundred sentences, etc., then sometimes a spanking is in order. I don't believe it should be first in line, but it shouldn't be ruled out either. I was one such kid who did get spanked when I was a little older as I learned ways to make the nn-spanking punishments no big deal to me. Ground me to my room as I'd read a book (and my parents were NEVER going to take away books!). Take away a toy or privilege and I'd do something else. Sentences? Big deal. If grounding didn't work , sending me outside would surely result in me playing with my friends. I KNEW ahead of time that if I misbehaved, I wasn't going to like to consequences. If decided to do the bad action anyway, well, no one can say I didn't know.

Regardless of what the punishment is, there's a potentially negative lesson. Take away a toy or privilege and you can teach a kid that deprivation is okay. Remember that children , especially younger ones, often see a favorite toy or tv show as vital to life. It's not possible to reason with a small child the same way you would an adult. Only rewarding god behavior and ignoring bad can teach a child he/she only needs to behave when something from Mom or Dad is wanted.

I don't lack respect for my parents. I actually respect them for how they raised me. I do know people who were spanked as a first line punishment and were spanked severely, and they have issues. I also know people who were never spanked at all and are rotten brats who think they can have their own way because, like I did, they learned how to make non-spanking punishments into no big deal.

Many bullies are being raised by parents who don't spank and only take away a toy. But some children respond very well to even a minor privilege being taken away.

No one is advocating using cords or whips on a child. But also no one should be insisting that all children will respond the same way to the same punishments. I find if laughable that parents of toddlers and infants think that just because their toddler or infant responds well now to a toy being put in the closet, at an age where children more often than not are seeking approval, so a smile is all that's needed, means that it will work when their kids are 6, 7, 8 years old and doing their best to push the limits of what they're allowed to do.

We hope we never reach a point where we have to spank our daughter, but we also won't conclusively rule out spanking as a possibility if other forms of punishment don't work. We'd rather have a kid pissed at us for a night that a brat who thinks she's the center of the world and can do whatever she wants.

Blaskraken's picture

My Dad did it, My Grandpa did it, and my Great Grandpa did it!

While deciding to discipline your children in a certain manner is certainly a topic best kept between a Man (father) and Woman ( mother ), notice the hetero reference, I would like to add the title of this post to the many quasi scholarly comments offered in this topic string. Every single member of my family was at some point subjected to the corporal punishment described in the majority of these posts. None of my family, immediate and extended, has ever been arrested of a crime . None of my family has ever abused their children. All members of my family live productive and satisfying lives. Further, my family is probably one of the most loving and nurturing groups I have ever had the pleasure of being a part of. Now I don't think anyone would argue with the notion that child abuse is something to be condemned, however, given the many hundreds of years that responsible corporal punishment has been used in the rearing of children, can we really come back now and say that it doesn't work ? You, of course, are free to make your own judgments about what methods you will use to raise your children, but I for one will continue to use a method that is tried and true.

PDeverit's picture

Letter or spirit of the law

The vast majority of professionals agree that child buttock-battering isn’t healthy. A marginal few (mostly religious fundamentalists as those at Calvin) think that child bottom-slapping is good. They use the same selective literalist interpretation of the Bible as was used to justify “witch”-burning, depraved torture methods for those accused of sin and heresy, slavery, racism , wife- beating , oppression of women and a host of other social ills.

RockxYourxSoul's picture

Not ok, sometimes understandable

Spanking children is definitely not okay, because of the following reasons:

-Children copy the behavior from their parents; if parents beat, children will copy this behavior. Parents who teach that violence is wrong and spank their children at the same time, are ambiguous
-It is ineffective. Children might obey, but this is because they fear the spanking , not because they understand or respect the situation/rules
-Spanking is child abuse

However, a tap is sometimes appropriate. For instance, when your child wants to touch a heated fire, a small tap isn't necessarily wrong, because there is immediate threat.

Parents sometimes lose their patience, and it is understandable that they sometimes spank their children. No one is perfect. But it shouldn't be part of the daily education .

Last but not least, a basic rule: a punishment should improve their behavior and shouldn't be used to take revenge on your child.

PDeverit's picture

Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children . There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit www.nospank.net .

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

RockxYourxSoul's picture

Not ok, but sometimes understandable

Spanking children is definitely not okay, because of the following reasons:

-Children copy the behavior from their parents; if parents beat, children will copy this behavior. Parents who teach violence is wrong and spank their children, are ambiguous

-It is ineffective. Children might obey, but this is because they fear the spanking , not because they understand or respect the situation/rules

-Spanking is child abuse

However, a tap is sometimes appropriate. For instance, when your child wants to touch a heated fire, a small tap is appropriate. Parents aren't perfect, and it is understandable that parents sometimes lose their patience. But it shouldn't be part of the daily education .

jwils523's picture

Spanking is Deviant

The act of spanking actually contributes to sexual promiscuity and deviancy in later life. The buttucks is an errogenous zone, a child's "private part". It's not only barbaric and a bad example on how one should deal when frustrated, it's emotionally and pschologically damaging to your child's present and future well-being.

I would like to ask the people who support spanking if they are talking about a gentle swat or a beating because their is a range of damage that can be done to a child. The former is less psychological damage and the latter is extreme with sociopathic, psychopathic, anti-social, personality disorder with sexual deviancy.

bartolomeo7's picture

mother

Spanking is against the law in Denmark. Spock wrote a book on how to care for children without hitting them.or angrilyy screaming which psychologically injure the child for life, drug use , over eating and frigidity..The English invented hitting and screaming as a child rearing method, and America copied it from them. Danish stand back and permit the child everything. The Dutch do nothing when their children cry, but stand in respect.

Nivarion's picture

This confuses me.

"We shouldn't spank children because it teaches them to hit."

This stance confuses me. By the same logic governments shouldn't imprison inmates because it teaches them to hold people against their will.

Spanking, when done properly teaches children that all rules have exceptions. And all do. "You can't kill someone, unless he was going to kill you first." and "You can't drive over the speed limit, unless you have a police escort." or "You shouldn't ever walk around with your finger on the trigger of a gun, unless there are known hostiles near by."

just as "You shouldn't hit unless every other option has been exhausted."

A lot of you seem to be confusing senseless beatings with spankings. a spanking in scenario goes like this.

Now Johny, I told you not to throw the ball in the house.
I know dad.
I grounded you for it
I know
I warned you that you would break something
I know
and now you've broken your grandma's lamp.
I know.
Grab your ankles.

a beating goes
What the hell Johny
It was an accident!
*Dad proceeds to beat the tar out of Johny.*

A spanking is done in a clear, level headed manner. The spankee understands the punishment, and what they did to deserve it. The spanker has explained to the child why they are getting the punishment, or will explain after they have gotten the attention of the child.

A spanking has a limited, pre-decided limit of lickings the parent will give to the child, and the strength of the blows is also controlled. A beating goes until the parent is tired.

Growing up I received spankings and a single beating. The spankings helped reinforce that I for sure shouldn't do something unless it is worth it, and the beating... I had that coming. Big time.

I still remember the beating. I was just going into puberty and had picked a fight with my step dad. I started to hit him and when he finally hit me back I made a sneer and told him I was off to call CPS on him. I still don't know where mom came from, or where she got that belt, but I sure got straitened out by that. The belt was a cheap plastic one, and cut me all over my back and arms. The cuts hurt and helped me to think about what I had done. For about a month.

now many years latter I'm great friends with my step dad. I realized that I was rebelling against him because he wasn't my real dad, but I've grown very distant from my real dad, as I've started to realize, he just never really cared all that much.

I'll finish with a summary of this. Spankings, and even beatings are just another set of tools in the parents tool box. If you took away a tool from a mechanic there's a good chance he wont get the job done right, just as if you take a tool away from a parent there is a chance that they also wont get the job done right. In a good case they won't have to use them too often, as was my case. In a great case they wont ever have to use them at all. If you never need to spank your child then great. If spanking is ineffective don't use it. If that's all they'll respond to I recommend a plastic belt.

Kelly Salasin's picture

The Poetry of Spanking

It's interesting isn't it, that when we Google " spanking " we find a list of porn sites and scandals. If that doesn't put the practice of spanking into question, perhaps these poems-- from one who was "spanked"--will:
http://kellysalasin.wordpress.com/category/writing/family-life/spanking /

LagerHead's picture

That didn't describe a spanking.

That described a beating.

muffmonster36's picture

Is Spanking an Acceptable Form of Discipline?

I say yes you have all these so called EXPERTS telling you it does not work.They just don't know the facts but still think they do I got whoopins with belts my son got them and my dad did and all 9 uncle's and countless cousins guess what we all turned out fine and we didn't shoot any schools up either. Aside from a bruise here and there they work and if you ask me that's what is wrong with society welfare and the law need to stay alittle more out of it a whooping is not abuse

isotope's picture

i never much cared for whipping cream

physical violence as a deterrent seems to only defeat the purpose, and besides once they build up a tolerance it will only lead to enjoyment as an adult.

lux113's picture

no.

Spanking is only appropriate for adults =)

hilary93's picture

spanking acceptable..

I am sixteen years old and I was spanked as a small child. I do not feel resentment, anger, or bitterness of any kind towards my parents because they spanked me. In fact, I feel gratitude. I was spanked only a handful of times as a child, and only for serious offenses. I agree that spanking merely because the parent is exasperated with unruly behavior is a weak method of reigning in said behavior, but spanking in limited doses is very beneficial.
I was spanked once for repeatedly lying to my kindergarten teacher. I didn't like the lunch packed for me so I told her I had no lunch after throwing mine out and then was given a bagel to eat instead. Obviously what I did was terrible: I wasted food day after day and lied to my teachers. I was spanked for this, and the argument that I did not repeat the behavior because I feared to be punished is not strictly true. My parents explained exactly why what I did was wrong, and then I was spanked for it.
To this day, the lessons I learned from being spanked are the strongest. I am a high honor roll student, I have never had a detention in my life, and I have a healthy social life. The only thing brought upon me through spanking is a strong code of morals--not emotional problems.
Overall, there is a definitely a line that should be drawn. I whole-heartedly agree with those who state that spanking for the littlest offense is out of line. Of course it is! But if a child lies, steals, or cheats, it must be made extremely clear that these actions are the worst, and spanking is sometimes the best way to do so.

Michelle S's picture

No way! No spanking should be allowed!

I don't think spanking or caning should be allowed at all.
I used to study at a boarding school, where we were punished at the smallest mistakes.

Once at the dinner table, I dropped a plate by mistake. It crashed on the floor and broke. I wasn't allowed to finish my food and was spanked on my bare buttocks by a mistress in front of everyone, in the dining hall itself. It was so embarrassing, and I was made to stand facing the wall exposing my red bottom till the last of the students finished their food and left the room.
After that I had to eat food sitting on the floor for a whole month.

I seriously don't think that this was fair. Dropping a plate is a mistake, and it is innocent. Did I drop it on purpose? Yet I was spanked till I screamed. NOT FAIR!

maymay2k12's picture

yes it is Acceptable

i disagree with poeple who say it will casue mental issues, it will teach them to hit, and of coarse it doesnt do anything. well i think your wrong because kids who are just yelled at or "talked to sternly" end up being bratty and disrespectful. time outs never work becasue all the parents do is tell them sto do is sit in the corner for 5 min or so. it doesnt teach them anything the time out doesnt stick to the child like a spanking would. no i do agree that hitting anywhere else but them butt or mouth is wrong and the use of tools such as paddles belts or such is abusive adn can cause probelms but a little spanking or slapping them in the mouth does not cause them to be disfunctional....

tell me the truth am i wrong or right about this???

Michelle S's picture

You're wrong

You aren't correct. Talking sternly, and giving out little punishments does work wonders for many children . Like my friend. Her parents never spanked her, and she always used to stand first in class. She was never rude, and she was my best friend. Unlike my parents, who always used to spank my bottom with a steel ruler. It hurt!
Once I talked rudely to Mom. She gave my bottom a dozen spankings with the same thin & sharp steel ruler my parents use for me and my brother and locked me in the small hot and stuffy room on the terrace for the whole afternoon with just a bottle of water, and no food . That room what barely wide enough for me to lie down, and I was so hot and bored. Plus, it was dark, and there was no one to talk to. I was home in the school holidays then.

Mother let me out only in the evening, after she'd locked me in for about 6-7 hours. Even after that she gave me the choice that:
1. I promise never to talk rudely to anyone, and if I do, I'd be locked in for the WHOLE DAY, plus, of course, the spanking and any other punishment she wishes to give.
2. I be spanked again and be grounded for a week.

PDeverit's picture

Inherited Bad Habit

Child buttock-beating for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why hitting children isn't a good idea. If one doesn't have time to read volumes and volumes of literature on the subject, here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D., and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

PDeverit's picture

Visual For " 'Spanking', The Right Way To Do It"

Can someone please produce a non-pornographic photo or video clip of the "Right Way To Do It". A visual aid to teach people the how-to's? Then tell me why you prefer this inherited habit over learning other proven discipline strategies.

For further thought, read the article "NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say " by Lesli Taylor, M.D. and Adah Maurer, Ph. D., as people considered a "safe" locus for the induction of pain in a child.

PDeverit's picture

Bad tradition

Most compelling of all reasons not to spank are the following (which can be verified by people who were actually spanked themselves by doing a little research):

“...The buttocks are the locus for the induction of pain in a child. We are familiar with the argument that it is a safe ‘locus’ for spanking . However, the anal region is also the major erotic region at precisely the time the child is likely to be beaten there. Thus it is aptly chosen to achieve the result of deranged sexuality in adulthood...” 1971 (p. 113)

David Bakan, Slaughter of the Innocents,1971 (p. 113)

“Advocates of corporal punishment in schools should examine very carefully the weight of evidence now available and, particularly in light of the pornographic component, consider whether they can justify the continuation of a system with such a capacity for exciting unhealthy interest.”
British Psychological Society, “Report on Corporal Punishment in Schools” (1980)

“But what you would not so readily believe upon my affirmation, was that there are persons who are stimulated to venery by strokes of rods, and worked up into a flame of lust by blows... A strange instance what a power the force of education has in grafting inveterate ill habits on our morals...”

Johann Heinrich Meibom, physician, 1629

Unpleasant as this information is, we do our children a great disservice when we fail to acknowledge its truth.

Had we not turned a blind eye to the unpleasant phenomena of clergy abuse of children 40-50 years ago, many children would have been spared its devastating consequences. Peace.

TheOni's picture

Bottom Line

Everything is good in moderation.

Don't type something stupid like "what about genocide." The fact that we are all here on this forum indicates that we all believe that ourselves are mature enough to discuss critical issues.

Spanking is not abuse, it is negative reinforcement to acts that aren't accepted in modern society . No you shouldn't spank our kid for touching an electrical socket (someone put something that alluded to that). If a child touches an electrical socket and gets a shock, your first instinct is to make sure they aren't hurt. The shock is all the "no" that child needs to keep them from that socket.

A good spanking will keep a child in line. All of these fussy kids in stores complaining about not getting what they want really need to have a conversation with their parents about money and the world not being fair. If they keep complaining, then they need a good smack to tell them "hey, I told you once and I SHOULDN'T have to tell you again." Children have the ability to reason. If they didn't, we would all be sitting in a cave with our parents and grandparents and so on and there would be less people on earth and more starvation. The fact that a child reasons is the basic building block to their life and their impact in the world. It hurts > I cry. Cant move > I squirm. Hungry > I get food . These are basic instincts.

There is a point when a spanking can be abuse. I these cases the parents don't tend to spank. In cases of abuse, parents treat their children like adults and beat them.

Was i spanked as a child? Hell yes. Was I beat as a child? No. If I did something wrong I was properly punished.

spiderpickle's picture

Spanking is OKAY!!!! (...to a point)

Just because people spank their children , doesn't mean that they are going to turn out to be horrible people. It actually makes them turn out better. If a parent uses this to their advantage too much, then it can turn out bad, however, it helps children grow up to know what they are not supposed to do.
In my school, there are very few of my classmates who grew up with spanking . They are the ones who are smoking, doing drugs , having sex, etc... Their parents let them do whatever they want and when they don't obey their rules, they just take their video games away or their phones away. As soon as they get them back, they continue to their same patterns. They aren't punished enough. Spanking is a natural way to show harm and what will happen if they do something that they know is bad. All the other methods of punishment help, but they are not permanent and as soon as they get on their own, they work in what they want to do and sooner or later their careless deeds will come back to them. But by then, it is too late for the parents to help them.
I believe that a parent should do all they can to help their children in life even if it means spanking them and being a parent. A mother and a father should be parents, NOT friends. Friends is something that comes with the respect of following their rules (as long as they are reasonable).

A User's picture

Spanking is never okay 2

People who still believe in spanking keep saying that kids are out of control these days. About how disrepectful they are, how sweary they are, how aggressive they are.

Have they ever stopped to think of other reasons than accusing people who don't spank? Like how much stress and pressure kids are under these days, under pressure to grow up so fast, how kids tend to act out when they're under so much stress and pressure, how polluted and congested the environment is that affect their behavior, how they don't even have time to play and be kids, demands, routines. Or maybe the people around them are a bad influence and it's not disclipine.