Is Spanking an Acceptable Form of Discipline?

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Punishment serves to protect and guide an individual. Children are not able to grow into responsible contributing members of society without guidance. Punishment should be on a graduated scale - the larger the negative impact of the action on the child, or others, the more severe the punishment, or consequence must be. Spanking should never be done in anger, or out of frustration. That it is used as the ultimate in the severity of a consequence is appropriate. In a society that currently dismisses every form of punishment as being harmful to the child (time outs lead to abandonment issues, yelling to self esteem issues, groundings to confinement issues, spanking to inappropriate touch issues), how does society expect to be able to continue if parents are not able to teach the confines of social acceptance? To not discipline a child is in itself, abusive - what happens when that child becomes an adult and is treated and expected to treat others when no one has been taught the benefits and downfalls of living (or not) within the rules of society? Spanking for a reason and within reason are certainly acceptable.

The quasi professionals from the fields of psychology and psychiatry have had fifty plus years to brainwash and convince people that spanking children is bad. Take a look at what has happend to society in that same time span and tell me with a straight face that they were right. I will acknowledge that there are children who get abused, though, when parents take a responsible stance on when to use and not to use spanking as a form of punishment it shoould be left to their perogative and the children of the vast majority of those parents are not being abused. I was raised by a single mother who was loving and caring towards all three of her children. Having said that, she did not hesitate to dish out spankings when the situation warrented. All three of us are successful and reponsible citizens and in no way that I can ascertain are we stunted in any way. I can tell you that I remember a lilttle more than five times being spanked "for real" in my life and if my children, of which I have two boys, ever do the things that I did to get those spankings, they also will be spanked. Children today are growing up with no fear of consequence, because they know that when it comes down to it there realy are no consequences. "What are you gonna do? Put me in Time Out?" Fear and avoidance of pain are natural survival instincts ingrained into each of us through thousands upon thousands of years of evolution, it seems silly to me that we as a society aught not to take advantage of these time proven instincts in training our offspring how to be responsible law abiding citizens. Having said that I can already hear those of you saying how can you advocate for causing pain to your children, let me be clear that this isn't what I am saying. In order for a spanking to be effective it also has to be memorable and a little bit of force is neccessary. A punishment by definition should cause those being punished to suffer, what suffer is caused by standing in the corner out sitting on a time out chair? While in school I was classmates with several kids whose parents were psych professionals who used the nonspanking method of raising them and I have to say that thos kids turned into some of the most self-centered, self impportant, intolerant and ill-mannered people I have known. Ultimately I think people should really mind their business and leave parenting styles up to the parents.

im 25 now but remember as a girl been hand spanked across my moms lap,not hard but fast-spanked fully clothed,it learnt me 2 behave when i was young,spankin was scary? but it worked!!,i couldent myself thou?

Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf

Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
(WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).
http://nospank.net/prj-006.wav

,but spoiling is not a good way to reward them either.
Done properly at school I was most impressed with a paddling I once received
Didn't skip school again (that school) lol

That was then, this is now. Violence begets Violence.
Children are injured physically and mentally.
Hindsight's 20/20 .

Spanking a child is perfectly fine. I am the youngest child in a family of 8. We were all spanked as children. And guess what? We are all close to our parents. We do not hate or resent them. We are not and were never afraid of them. We were not scarred for life by a few slaps on the bottom. None of us have ever committed any act of violence against another human being.

The problem today, with this modern "spanking is abuse" BS, can clearly be seen in today's children: spoiled little brats who don't listen to their parents, have no respect for adults, running through stores, screaming, yelling, whining, being diagnosed with "ADD" when all they really need is a good smack.

I will say that there are some children who are naturally obedient and respectful, rarely misbehaving, who for the most part don't need to be spanked. It depends on the child's personality; however, the majority of children are not all sweetness and do need a spank from time to time.

There is a major difference between spanking and abuse: some slaps on the rump versus some punches to the face.

You should try reason, logic, even trickery first, but if the child insists on acting in a way that is harmful to themselves or others, a quick, light smack upside the back of the head can snap them out of their reality tunnel. If your child comes home late, or tells you no, that does not deserve a hit. If your child attacks another person, an animal, or is being destructive, a smack or a spank can make them see that violence isn't good.

My stepfather beat me. This wasn't discipline as much as his issues, though it did keep me in line (If he didn't die on his own I would have killed him myself).
My father only ever hit me twice. Once when I was very young and rode my big wheel into the street, and once much later on when I yelled at him that I hated him. both times had a beneficial impact, and I realized my error immediately..

If all other forms of punishments fail, such as grounding (which some people consider abuse ), taking away a toy or privilege, making a child write a hundred sentences, etc., then sometimes a spanking is in order. I don't believe it should be first in line, but it shouldn't be ruled out either. I was one such kid who did get spanked when I was a little older as I learned ways to make the nn-spanking punishments no big deal to me. Ground me to my room as I'd read a book (and my parents were NEVER going to take away books!). Take away a toy or privilege and I'd do something else. Sentences? Big deal. If grounding didn't work , sending me outside would surely result in me playing with my friends. I KNEW ahead of time that if I misbehaved, I wasn't going to like to consequences. If decided to do the bad action anyway, well, no one can say I didn't know.

Regardless of what the punishment is, there's a potentially negative lesson. Take away a toy or privilege and you can teach a kid that deprivation is okay. Remember that children , especially younger ones, often see a favorite toy or tv show as vital to life. It's not possible to reason with a small child the same way you would an adult. Only rewarding god behavior and ignoring bad can teach a child he/she only needs to behave when something from Mom or Dad is wanted.

I don't lack respect for my parents. I actually respect them for how they raised me. I do know people who were spanked as a first line punishment and were spanked severely, and they have issues. I also know people who were never spanked at all and are rotten brats who think they can have their own way because, like I did, they learned how to make non-spanking punishments into no big deal.

Many bullies are being raised by parents who don't spank and only take away a toy. But some children respond very well to even a minor privilege being taken away.

No one is advocating using cords or whips on a child. But also no one should be insisting that all children will respond the same way to the same punishments. I find if laughable that parents of toddlers and infants think that just because their toddler or infant responds well now to a toy being put in the closet, at an age where children more often than not are seeking approval, so a smile is all that's needed, means that it will work when their kids are 6, 7, 8 years old and doing their best to push the limits of what they're allowed to do.

We hope we never reach a point where we have to spank our daughter, but we also won't conclusively rule out spanking as a possibility if other forms of punishment don't work. We'd rather have a kid pissed at us for a night that a brat who thinks she's the center of the world and can do whatever she wants.

The vast majority of professionals agree that child buttock-battering isn’t healthy. A marginal few (mostly religious fundamentalists as those at Calvin) think that child bottom-slapping is good. They use the same selective literalist interpretation of the Bible as was used to justify “witch”-burning, depraved torture methods for those accused of sin and heresy, slavery, racism , wife- beating , oppression of women and a host of other social ills.

Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children . There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit www.nospank.net .

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

The act of spanking actually contributes to sexual promiscuity and deviancy in later life. The buttucks is an errogenous zone, a child's "private part". It's not only barbaric and a bad example on how one should deal when frustrated, it's emotionally and pschologically damaging to your child's present and future well-being.

I would like to ask the people who support spanking if they are talking about a gentle swat or a beating because their is a range of damage that can be done to a child. The former is less psychological damage and the latter is extreme with sociopathic, psychopathic, anti-social, personality disorder with sexual deviancy.

"We shouldn't spank children because it teaches them to hit."

This stance confuses me. By the same logic governments shouldn't imprison inmates because it teaches them to hold people against their will.

Spanking, when done properly teaches children that all rules have exceptions. And all do. "You can't kill someone, unless he was going to kill you first." and "You can't drive over the speed limit, unless you have a police escort." or "You shouldn't ever walk around with your finger on the trigger of a gun, unless there are known hostiles near by."

just as "You shouldn't hit unless every other option has been exhausted."

A lot of you seem to be confusing senseless beatings with spankings. a spanking in scenario goes like this.

Now Johny, I told you not to throw the ball in the house.
I know dad.
I grounded you for it
I know
I warned you that you would break something
I know
and now you've broken your grandma's lamp.
I know.
Grab your ankles.

a beating goes
What the hell Johny
It was an accident!
*Dad proceeds to beat the tar out of Johny.*

A spanking is done in a clear, level headed manner. The spankee understands the punishment, and what they did to deserve it. The spanker has explained to the child why they are getting the punishment, or will explain after they have gotten the attention of the child.

A spanking has a limited, pre-decided limit of lickings the parent will give to the child, and the strength of the blows is also controlled. A beating goes until the parent is tired.

Growing up I received spankings and a single beating. The spankings helped reinforce that I for sure shouldn't do something unless it is worth it, and the beating... I had that coming. Big time.

I still remember the beating. I was just going into puberty and had picked a fight with my step dad. I started to hit him and when he finally hit me back I made a sneer and told him I was off to call CPS on him. I still don't know where mom came from, or where she got that belt, but I sure got straitened out by that. The belt was a cheap plastic one, and cut me all over my back and arms. The cuts hurt and helped me to think about what I had done. For about a month.

now many years latter I'm great friends with my step dad. I realized that I was rebelling against him because he wasn't my real dad, but I've grown very distant from my real dad, as I've started to realize, he just never really cared all that much.

I'll finish with a summary of this. Spankings, and even beatings are just another set of tools in the parents tool box. If you took away a tool from a mechanic there's a good chance he wont get the job done right, just as if you take a tool away from a parent there is a chance that they also wont get the job done right. In a good case they won't have to use them too often, as was my case. In a great case they wont ever have to use them at all. If you never need to spank your child then great. If spanking is ineffective don't use it. If that's all they'll respond to I recommend a plastic belt.

physical violence as a deterrent seems to only defeat the purpose, and besides once they build up a tolerance it will only lead to enjoyment as an adult.

I am sixteen years old and I was spanked as a small child. I do not feel resentment, anger, or bitterness of any kind towards my parents because they spanked me. In fact, I feel gratitude. I was spanked only a handful of times as a child, and only for serious offenses. I agree that spanking merely because the parent is exasperated with unruly behavior is a weak method of reigning in said behavior, but spanking in limited doses is very beneficial.
I was spanked once for repeatedly lying to my kindergarten teacher. I didn't like the lunch packed for me so I told her I had no lunch after throwing mine out and then was given a bagel to eat instead. Obviously what I did was terrible: I wasted food day after day and lied to my teachers. I was spanked for this, and the argument that I did not repeat the behavior because I feared to be punished is not strictly true. My parents explained exactly why what I did was wrong, and then I was spanked for it.
To this day, the lessons I learned from being spanked are the strongest. I am a high honor roll student, I have never had a detention in my life, and I have a healthy social life. The only thing brought upon me through spanking is a strong code of morals--not emotional problems.
Overall, there is a definitely a line that should be drawn. I whole-heartedly agree with those who state that spanking for the littlest offense is out of line. Of course it is! But if a child lies, steals, or cheats, it must be made extremely clear that these actions are the worst, and spanking is sometimes the best way to do so.

i disagree with poeple who say it will casue mental issues, it will teach them to hit, and of coarse it doesnt do anything. well i think your wrong because kids who are just yelled at or "talked to sternly" end up being bratty and disrespectful. time outs never work becasue all the parents do is tell them sto do is sit in the corner for 5 min or so. it doesnt teach them anything the time out doesnt stick to the child like a spanking would. no i do agree that hitting anywhere else but them butt or mouth is wrong and the use of tools such as paddles belts or such is abusive adn can cause probelms but a little spanking or slapping them in the mouth does not cause them to be disfunctional....

tell me the truth am i wrong or right about this???

Child buttock-beating for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why hitting children isn't a good idea. If one doesn't have time to read volumes and volumes of literature on the subject, here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D., and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

Most compelling of all reasons not to spank are the following (which can be verified by people who were actually spanked themselves by doing a little research):

“...The buttocks are the locus for the induction of pain in a child. We are familiar with the argument that it is a safe ‘locus’ for spanking . However, the anal region is also the major erotic region at precisely the time the child is likely to be beaten there. Thus it is aptly chosen to achieve the result of deranged sexuality in adulthood...” 1971 (p. 113)

David Bakan, Slaughter of the Innocents,1971 (p. 113)

“Advocates of corporal punishment in schools should examine very carefully the weight of evidence now available and, particularly in light of the pornographic component, consider whether they can justify the continuation of a system with such a capacity for exciting unhealthy interest.”
British Psychological Society, “Report on Corporal Punishment in Schools” (1980)

“But what you would not so readily believe upon my affirmation, was that there are persons who are stimulated to venery by strokes of rods, and worked up into a flame of lust by blows... A strange instance what a power the force of education has in grafting inveterate ill habits on our morals...”

Johann Heinrich Meibom, physician, 1629

Unpleasant as this information is, we do our children a great disservice when we fail to acknowledge its truth.

Had we not turned a blind eye to the unpleasant phenomena of clergy abuse of children 40-50 years ago, many children would have been spared its devastating consequences. Peace.

Just because people spank their children , doesn't mean that they are going to turn out to be horrible people. It actually makes them turn out better. If a parent uses this to their advantage too much, then it can turn out bad, however, it helps children grow up to know what they are not supposed to do.
In my school, there are very few of my classmates who grew up with spanking . They are the ones who are smoking, doing drugs , having sex, etc... Their parents let them do whatever they want and when they don't obey their rules, they just take their video games away or their phones away. As soon as they get them back, they continue to their same patterns. They aren't punished enough. Spanking is a natural way to show harm and what will happen if they do something that they know is bad. All the other methods of punishment help, but they are not permanent and as soon as they get on their own, they work in what they want to do and sooner or later their careless deeds will come back to them. But by then, it is too late for the parents to help them.
I believe that a parent should do all they can to help their children in life even if it means spanking them and being a parent. A mother and a father should be parents, NOT friends. Friends is something that comes with the respect of following their rules (as long as they are reasonable).