Why Single Motherhood is a Recipe for Disaster
There's a fascinating article in The Wall
Street Journal titled "This Is Your Brain Without Dad" about the
importance of having a father with respect to brain development.Now I admit I'm
not much of a statistics girl. I read a lot, so I'm well versed in the latest
stats; but I place my stock in common sense and experience. If you read this
blog regularly, you know that. Still, this was interesting.
Apparently a
German biologist is conducting research on this subject using animals that are
typically raised by two parents as compared with one parent. When the animals
were deprived of their father, the pups exhibit short and long-term changes in
nerve-cell growth on different regions of the brain.
In the two-parent
families, the mothers and fathers cared for their pups in similar ways. When the
mother was a single parent, the frequency of her interactions didn't change
much, which means the pups experienced significantly less touching and
interaction than those with two parents.
So I was thinking about this
issue with respect to the faux "women's rights" movement - more specifically,
how feminists have no problem with single motherhood. In fact they encourage it.
It's part of a woman's right to become a mother in any way she deems
appropriate: without a father, without staying home, etc. The idea of being
married in order to raise children is almost an afterthought. And divorce is
considered a fait accompli -- not something we should strive to avoid. Indeed,
feminists are the reason there is now a whopping 40% of single mothers in
America.
Not only are feminists responsible for this pitiful statistic,
they want to support single mothers by adopting policies that encourage it. When
Ann Coulter told the truth about single motherhood in her book Guilty, she was of course pilloried by the
Left. Feminists don't like facts and statistics; it messes with their plan. But
those with open and independent minds can handle the following information from
Guilty:
"Of all single mothers in America, only 6.5 percent of
them are widows, 37.8 percent are divorced, and 41.3 percent gave birth out of
wedlock. The 6.5 percent of single mothers whose husbands have died shouldn't be
called 'single mothers' at all. We already have a word for them: 'widows.' Their
children do just fine compared with the children of married parents.
According to the Index of Leading
Cultural Indicators, children from single-parent families account for 63 percent
of all youth suicides, 70 percent of all teenage pregnancies, 71 percent of all
adolescent chemical/substance abuse, 80 percent of all prison inmates, and 90
percent of all homeless and runaway children.
A study cited in the Village Voice
produced similar numbers. It found that children brought up in single-mother
homes 'are five times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to
drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14
times more likely to commit rape (for the boys), 20 times more likely to end up
in prison, and 32 times more likely to run away from home.' Single motherhood is
like a farm team for future criminals and social outcasts.The illegitimacy rate has gone up by more
than 300 percent since 1970.
In 1979, only about 600,000 babies were born out
of wedlock and one quarter of them were
put up for adoption. By 1991, the number of illegitimate births had doubled to 1,225,000 annually, but only 4 percent were allowed to be
adopted. By 2003, 1.5
million illegitimate babies were born
every year, but less than 1 percent were put for adoption. Not surprisingly,
unwed mothers who care enough to give their children up for adoption also come
overwhelmingly from responsible backgrounds. They tend to have higher education
and income levels and to come from intact upper-middle-class families with
highly educated parents."
Finally, this: "According to the US Justice Department
crime statistics, domestic abuse is virtually nonexistent for married women
living with their husbands."
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1. Humans are not wolves, despite what you may think when you listen to the news.
2. There is usually more than one cause for anything. Saying feminism is the ONLY cause for 40% of mothers being single is a bit like saying the only reason you're alive is because of your mother .
3. Even if you were a statistics girl... which, clearly, you're not.... it's very easy to manipulate data.
Is the author of that book suggesting that responsible pregnant women who are left by the father of their baby should put up their child for adoption ? Instead of trying to find a way out of their situation together with their child, hopefully into a better life with maybe someone new by their side who is able and eager to live a healthy and happy family life with the woman and her child? As I have done? There's no way I could have given my baby away! From what I hear, adopted children are often unhappy and on a constant search to deal with their past and their true origin. My daughter will never have to face such a situation. She's with her mom. It is by no means easy - I agree that it should not be glorified as well. But it is certainly doable, and there are no natural laws that make a woman and her child bound to some certain dark future, not in any way. It all depends on the personal effort one (the woman in that case) puts into it, as with so many things. I thought personal effort was something you conservatives valued. Anyway, single moms who struggle every day to make their child's life or even children's lives a better one, and who manage, are heroines. They should be thanked for what they do for society which the children's fathers often enough don't. And if both parents care for the child after they've separated, in a cooperative fashion, then that's the best they can make out of a situation like that, and they should be respected for that as well. It's hard enough on anyone involved in something like that, no need for purely philosophical bashing on top of that. Our society needs solutions, not blaming.
Great Post! I wonder why feminists want to take it so far... These are sad statistics and hopefully people (both men and women ) will read and understand these statistics (that don't lie). Another interesting factor to add to this is nerve-cell growth related to economic factors and how it relates to this study (concerning people, not puppies). I do not have the link, but it is not hard to find, and I even think it is here on opposing views. Thanks again Suzanne!
My mother was a single mom who raised me with no financial support from my father (I was born "in wedlock" only because my father agreed to marry my mother when she got pregnant). It's such a shame that all that did so much damage to my brain. Oh, but wait - I'm an award- winning scientist with a Ph.D. And I've been married to the same man for 18 years. And I have 2 wonderful, unselfish, intelligent children . And I'm a feminist, by the way.
Contrast this with my half-brother and half-sister who grew up with my abusive father (who also abused their mother who he was married to - I simply do not believe that last statistic!). Of the three of my father's children, I am definitely the smartest, happiest and most successful by anyone's definition of the word.
However, I do believe that people should only have children if they can support them. My mother worked her ass off to provide for me, without ever resorting to welfare. Funny how conservatives like you can't stand single mothers and "illegitimate" children, but you also work to take away a woman's right to have an abortion , while at the same time, making it impossible to teach proper sex education (ah yes, abstinence-only is working so well!). I would never have an abortion, nor wish for my daughter to have one, but where do you think all those single moms came from?
And here's a statistic for you - the average American has one ovary and one testicle. The statement is analytically correct, but not particularly useful!
Yes, parenting was not created that way. A single parent (male or female) will not be able to care for a child in a way that compensates for the other not being there. Every aspect of the parent and child's life will be affected. We do not need scientific or medical proof to understand this, just common sense. If it wasn't meant to be that way, it will never work out as well. Single parents, same-sex parents, grandparents raising children instead of parents, foster care, adoption . These all equal a sub-standard life for a child (adoption may be a great change for a child's life but he is still not with his blood parents, regardless of their situation even if the environment is better with the adopted parents the connection won't be there).
Parenting wasn't 'created' at all, it is an evolved adaptation to caring for children .
We do need scientific or medical proof to show that children need two parents, or that a single parent cannot care for their child... relying on our own experiences allows for dangerous flaws to creep in when dealing with a large population.
Single parents, same-sex parents, grandparents, foster care, and adoption can all provide a stable loving home in which children can (and have) been raised.
Yes, parenting was created and even came with an instruction manual. The Bible. That means, like all other things in life, there is a correct, or optimum way to do it and the opposite, a wrong way to do it.
No, same sex parents ( homosexuals ) can never provide a kind of environment that is good for children and should be illegal . A male is meant to be the strong logical parent and a female is meant to be the loving nurturing parent and both are to enforce discipline that a child needs and even asks for (finding and pushing boundaries).
how can you say same sex marriage should be illegal ? many homosexuals treat marriage with more respect than heteorsexuals. in my opinion you just sound like a homophobe. kids raised in that kind of environment have actually been proven to be better off than kids raised by a single parent. as long as their are two parents willing to give that child unconditional love, there is no harm. why dont you take your close-minded head out of your bible and look at the world around you? i was raised by a single parent and i believe i have turned out fine. i dont drink, do drugs , im getting a college education and i have a clean record. but that cant be said for all children raised by single parents...according to "statistics". many of my close friends are gay and i root for them to have equal rights in everything. not allowing homosexuals to marry is almost as bad as racism . you are discriminating against someone because of their sexual orientation. would God want that? i dont see how a kind and forgiving God would send a good person to hell just because of who they liked. the bible was written ages and ages ago. times change and im sure God understands that. I mean, getting a tattoo is against the commandments but look at the time we live in. i have a friend who is a preacher's son and he has over five tattoos. the bible is not a instruction manual. no matter how much you want it to be because every child is different and we no longer give birth to kids in barns. get over yourself and stop being a homophobic jerk.
There are a few competing instruction manuals out there...
Yet even that is unimportant, the USA is a secular nation... and we cannot make decisions on secular matters using religious texts.
You are still not supporting your claims... The evidence shows that homosexual parents are fully capable of creating a happy healthy home for children . Further you show a rather predictable bias when you assume that every man is going to be the 'strong logical parent' and every woman is going to be the 'loving nurturing parent'.
Why can't a man be a loving father and a woman be a strong mother ?
That seems to be the trouble with statistics a vain attempt to encapsulate human experience in nice little boxes. I'm having a problem relating to all this. I was a single mom,yeah sometimes it was really hard,you do what you have to do. That is about as far as I can relate to this article. I'm not a feminist,I'm not poor,not pro-life ,not a man hater,and I didn't raise a serial killer ,or rapist or burglar.I also didn't raise a kid in the projects ,or struggle with abject poverty ,went without food for myself a few times ,no big deal. My daughter is not nor ever was intellectually deficient,graduated with honors.She's not a drug abuser or an alcoholic,she went through her crazy times when she was 18 but mild compared to my craziness at that age.
There is so much wrong with this article don't even know where to begin.Maybe statistics just make some people feel safer when they can confine the variety of human experience into meaningless numbers and bullsh-t